awkward ➳ zarry

part fourteen: feelings

The night before the incident: the cottage

Harry let the cool water fall over his head and drain down his body as he stood silently in the shower.

He could hear Zayn humming in the bedroom, and his heart stirred. Was this normal?

He didn't like the idea that he was lying to his parents, he didn't like the idea that his parents were praising him for something he hadn't attained, he didn't like the idea that Zayn wasn't actually his.

Maybe because he wanted Zayn to be his. He couldn't say that out loud. This would be over in a couple of days, then he can forget all about this feeling.

After rubbing his face vigorously with water, he turned the shower off and stepped out onto the bath mat, reaching for his towel which was slumped over the sink.

He dried his hair, then the rest of his body before putting soothing lotion over his skin. He sighed, brushing his teeth and fixing his damp hair up a little before leaving the bathroom, turning the lights off behind him.

"Quite a long shower," Zayn said with a smile as he got underneath the covers in their bed. Harry thought it was a little weird that him and Zayn shared a bed, they had a choice, they could easily go into different rooms.

Harry kind of liked it.

"Yeah," Harry whispered, itching his cheek. "Is my face red?"

Zayn leaned forward on the bed, the sheets that were covering his body, falling to the ground. 

Zayn brushed his fingertips across Harry's sensitive cheek, probably causing it to become more red.

"A little," Zayn spoke, dropping his hand. "What'd you do?"

"I don't know," Harry shook his head. "Doesn't matter,"

Harry laid down in the bed, scooting as far away from Zayn as he possibly could.

Zayn noticed. He didn't say anything.

"Listen," Zayn said quietly, turning his lamp off leaving Harry's lamp as the only light in the room.

"I'm listening," Harry said falling deeper into his pillow.

"What you told me yesterday.. On the yacht.. About Iris and George,"

Harry shot up immediately, burying his head in his hands. "Oh god Zayn. It doesn't matter anymore," His voice, muffled.

Zayn sucked in a breath. "Well it had to have mattered if it took you so long to tell me,"

Harry squeezed his eyes shut as he let go of his face. "It doesn't matter anymore Zayn,"

Zayn bit his lip, and turned to face Harry on the bed. 

"You don't like talking about your feelings do you?" He asked quietly, after giving Harry a second.

It took Harry a moment to gather his thoughts because he didn't want to just spit them out.

"No I don't," He said simply to Zayn, his eyes on his lap which was covered in thin summer sheets.