awkward ➳ zarry

part ten: the car window

Harry sat in the back seat with his Nana beside him. His head was leaning up against the glass, his cheek pressed onto the window so hard that when he got up it was red.

"Harold?" Anne called from the drivers seat, peering at Harry through her rear view mirror.

"Yes Mum," Harry groaned, flopping his head upwards and off the window.

He dragged his sweatshirt sleeve across the little mark on his cheek.

Harry wasn't as loopy as before, it had been a while since he was. He couldn't quite remember what he said to make his family this quiet.

As Anne opened her mouth to speak, Nana stopped her abruptly, anger shining through her tone. "You brought a stranger into our home?!"

Harry blinked, it took him a minute to fully understand what she was saying.

Fuck.

Harry stayed quiet as his family awaited a response.

"A stranger?" Robin trailed on trying to keep the conversation fresh in Harry's head.

"Not a complete stranger," Harry fiddled with his sweatshirt sleeves and looked down at his jeans as he felt his family's eyes on him.

"Yes a complete stranger! And you what? Thought you could fake a relationship to make us happy?!" Nana fumed.

"I was trying to tell you guys at first.." Harry spoke. "And it wasn't to make you happy,"

It was like they weren't listening to him all over again as Nana was going on and on about how Harry could've gotten them killed due to the fact that no one actually knew Zayn.

Harry liked to think he knew Zayn.

Harry was pretty sure he did know Zayn.

Not even a week into knowing Zayn, Harry could've sworn that Zayn knew him better than anyone who's known him for years.

Harry loved Zayn. He really loved him.

"We trusted you Harry," Robin said, clearly tensing up at the wheel. "We really trusted you,"

"You guys didn't let me talk when I was trying to tell you it was just one night,"

His family continued to ignore him and degrade him for his actions, Harry ignored, Zayn being the only thing on his mind.

The ride from the cottage was four hours, and being in this car with his family made it seem like fourteen.

He couldn't stop thinking about where Zayn is, what Zayn is thinking about, what Zayn is doing. When Harry would see Zayn next. What he would say to Zayn.

His thoughts were paused when words of poison fell out of Nana's lips.

"What would you grandfather say to all of this Harold? Not only the fact that you're gay, but the fact that you lied about a gay relationship?"

Silence filled every crack and corner in the car until it was diffused completely.

Anne and Robin didn't say anything as Harry's jaw dropped in disgust.

He couldn't make sense of the words, he couldn't believe his grandmother would have the nerve to say something like that. Even after everything she put George through.

"Are you kidding me Nana?" Harry asked silently through gritted teeth.

"Am I kidding about what lovey?" Nana spoke, suddenly putting on a good act.

"After everything you and Pa put George through. After absolutely everything. You're going to repeat those actions on another one of your grandchildren?"

"George's situation is different lovey," Nana said softly. Anne and Robin quietly listened from the front seats.

"How? They're both acts of ignorance. If anything was to be different it would be my situation Nana. Because Zayn is a stranger to you guys. Iris is George's wife,"

The energy in the car died down, being slowly replaced with complete tranquility and no thought.

"Mum," Anne scolded underneath her breath, gaining an eyeball from Harry.

"That's all you're going to say?" Harry questioned quickly. "Nana just said something so fucking ignorant, and you're-"

Harry was cut off by Anne, Robin and Nana's voice all telling him to watch this language.

"This is bullshit," Harry said. "You won't let me talk now. You didn't let me talk when I was trying to tell you Zayn and I weren't a couple,"

His family didn't answer, until Robin piped up.

"So what made you think you could bring a stranger on a trip with your family huh?" He asked subtly. "You put us all at risk and what did you get out of it?"

Harry dug his fingers into the palms of his hands. "None of you hated him,"

This hit his parents and grandmother like a pile of bricks. Whether they wanted to admit it or not, they all loved Zayn.

Obviously they weren't going to say that out loud.

"Exactly," Harry muttered. "This is ridiculous,"

"It is ridiculous," Nana said. "Because it was quite a good trip until the end,"

No one spoke after Nana had spoken. The next four hours of the car ride were completely silent, the awkward silence that permitted only the wheels rolling against the concrete roads to make noise.

Harry hadn't even gotten Zayn's number. Harry had no idea if he'd ever see Zayn again. He didn't have the nerve to ask his family where he had went, Harry didn't have the energy to get angry again.

He just wanted to see Zayn. He kind of wanted to kiss him again, he wanted to taste his lips and his strong hold around him.

Harry had never felt like this before, Harry had never felt a feeling so strong.

The feeling of having the same person on your mind throughout day and night. The same butterflies in your stomach that travel up to your chest when you're longing to see them, when you wish they are beside you.

Harry wished he was driving back with Zayn, sitting in the front seat, Zayn's hand on his thigh as he drives.

Harry was so truly in love with Zayn. So in love with Zayn to the point where it physically hurt him. His body ached for Zayn in a way he's never wanted anyone.

Harry had never felt so hurt, yet he had never felt so alive either.