f r i e n d s || mark lee

s i x t e e n

I couldn't bear to get out of bed.

I felt sad and lazy.

I didn't want to face humanity.

Mark hasn't been answering my texts, Ten is busy, and Lucas is still in the hospital.

I felt alone. I tried calling Haechan but he got a new job so his hours are all over the place. I hate this feeling.

Days like this make me want to pack up and move back to Canada. Where everything is so much simpler.

Part of me still likes Lucas. I'm intrigued by everything about him. However he cheated on me. But it was during a time where he didn't know what he wanted ???

But Mark. Mark.

I love him. I love everything about him and I don't see that changing anytime soon. We had sex. There's no going back to just being friends after something like that.

I don't know.

I continued to lay in my bed and wallow in self pity as the hours rolled by. Soon enough it was the next day and I didn't have enough energy to dare leave my bed. I knew I was going to be missing class but I couldn't even fathom wrapping my head around cinematography and calculus today.

I heard a knock on the door and at first I simply ignored it. However they kept knocking, getting more aggressive each time. I pulled myself out of bed, and I'm not going to lie I was a little scared to see who it was.

Pfft, it was just Ten.

"Why would you knock so hard stupid?" I asked with a strong attitude.

"Why are you skipping class stupid?" He asked throwing the same amount of sass back at me.

"Why do you think I'm skipping class?"

"Mark texted me and asked if you were okay because you weren't in class. So what's really up with you Mel? It's not like you to just blow off class for what honestly seems like no reason! You are a first generation student that was granted the to opportunity to leave Canada and come to New York and fulfill the dreams our parents could've never imagined when they were our age and this is what you do!"

I just waddled back to my bed and laid back down, causing Ten to grow more frustrated with me.

"Melanie!-"

"I heard you the first time! I get it! I'm the smart sibling, the first generation daughter. I'm the only one going to school while you get to make music and dance and model and do everything YOU dreamed about doing! I watch you and Mark fulfill your passions all the time, yet I don't even know what I want to do with my life! And on top of all of that everyone has expectations for me but I can't live up to all of them. Lucas expects me to forgive him. Mark expects me to just get over him. Haechan expects me to be strong. You expect me to make mom and dad proud. I don't know what to do-"

By the end of my rant I started crying. Ten immediately hugged me, realizing how much he's missed out on while he was gone and how much it impacted me.

"I'm sorry Melanie, I should've been here for you more"

I continued to sniffle into his shoulder completely ignoring everything coming out of his mouth right now. I just wanted my big brother back.

"Mel, you need to start living your life for you. I know I just yelled at you about making mom and dad proud but in all honesty, they'll be proud seeing you happy and successful no matter what you choose to do. Fuck everyone else's expectations, make your own expectations for yourself."

-

I woke up the next morning with a vengeance. I showered and emailed my professors for the missing work from yesterday's classes. I picked up breakfast for myself and took a train to my first destination.

As I entered the hospital I felt a surge of confidence wave over as I rode the elevator up to the eighth floor and signed in. Once I walked into the room I spotted a smiley boy looking so much healthier than he did days prior to now. 

"Goodmorning Melanie!" Lucas cooed, he seemed like his old self again. It was very refreshing.

"Goodmorning Lucas, I want to talk to you about a few things", he nodded his head ushering me to continue,

"I'm sorry that I made you feel alone during a time of need, but I couldn't imagine myself being with you after what you did. You broke my trust, and to be completely honest with you that'll never change how much I've grown to care about you in such a short amount of time. But I'm in love with Mark-"

To my surprise, Lucas began to smile, "From the first day we hung out in the pizzeria I sensed something between you two, so I understand how you feel."

Lucas gave me another one of his iconic smiles, but something about this one was different. He seemed both genuinely happy and genuinely sad at the same time.

I gave him a small hug before gathering my things to leave until I heard his small voice croak out, "Melly?"

"Yes Loocus?" I responded with a small giggle.

"I'm sorry for everything, I hope he makes you happy. Like so happy your stomach hurts"

-

I rode the train with my headphones in, I listened to Loving is Easy by Rex Orange County (go listen to this!!!). As the train stopped at the station, I saw a very familiar face nodding to their own music.

I immediately ran towards them once I got off the train, earning a few stares of disgust from strangers, I finally hugged the figure from behind and immediately knew it was the right choice.

Mark turned around very confused until he realized it was me. Before he could bother asking me any questions I kissed him. Although I know he's still a little upset with me I couldn't help what I was feeling.

I know I love him and I'm not afraid of it anymore.

I LOVE MARK LEE!

"Melanie why are you yelling?"

"What do you mean?" I asked after being zoned out,

"You just yelled 'I love Mark Lee' at the top of your lungs"

Oof I thought I was talking in my head,

"Well I love you, and I just want to be with you. I'm sorry for what I said at dinner with Ten, but now I know that you're the one I want"

This made Mark smile at me warmly, but I could still sense that there was something wrong.

"Melanie-"

"If it's about Lucas I already told him that I'm in love with you"

"No Melanie-"

"Are you still mad?"

"I'm nervous, I don't want to ruin our friendship"

"We won't

I promise"

____________________________

I'm sorry for taking ten years to update, I've just been super busy recently and lacked motivation to write 😔

Although this chapter is shorter than usual I'm already planning seventeen (😏) so hopefully it'll be up in a few days!

Also do you guys stan exo? Have you listened to tempo?? Ooh la la la??? Kings!!! 😩😩