𝑉𝐼𝐵𝑅𝛢𝑁𝑇 - B.D.

Careful, Self-hatred is Contagious Pt.1

//Lexi//
What was I supposed to do?

I was last to make it to the kitchen, Blaine and my father sprinting to the rescue while I trailed behind, the shock clearly still in my system. When I finally reached the kitchen, however, I almost wished I hadn't. I'd have given anything not to have seen that. My stomach twisted with a sick feeling that makes me turn away, squeezing my eyes shut as I hunch over the door frame, all my efforts going into trying not to gag.

There's blood, it's everywhere, and the screams, it's too much, it's all too much. As sick as it is to admit I wished I could run, my mom was lying on the floor, clutching her bleeding wrist and all I wanted to do was run.

"Help me, please." She sobs shaking, judging by the knife lying beside her and where in the kitchen she was situated I'd guess she slipped while washing a knife. It doesn't seem unlikely, she gets dizzy sometimes, loses her balance, it'd take one slip - one moment of confusion. "It's all part of getting old." she had used to reassure us, that was before we found out. "Girls I'm sick, but I don't want you to worry, it'll be okay."

This wasn't okay, my father and Blaine crowded around her, Blaine doing all he can to stop the bleeding, they used a dishcloth to cover the wound and when that didn't seem to work he pulled off his jacket, using the cotton to soak up all the blood he could. He's done this before, I thought.

I pull out my phone to call an ambulance and Blaine gave me a look that told me she wouldn't make it to the hospital. There was only one other option, but I couldn't. They hate zombies, hate them. She'd never forgive me, they wouldn't see me as a daughter anymore, they'd see me as a monster.

But I wasn't the only zombie in the room. It was an impossible thing to ask, sentencing him to a lifetime of hate from my parents in place of me and they'd figure it out soon enough. That I was like him. There was no other option though, she's my mother, I couldn't leave her to die.

"B-blaine, " it takes everything in me to speak, my voice shaking and I swore I couldn't finish the request, but the way he looked at me. He knew what I was going to ask, and so he gave me this heartbreaking smile, a look that made me shiver and made me want to cry at the same time.
I bite back a sob, "Blaine please, scratch her?"

He looked away for a second, taking a deep breath and my father seems to finally catch on.

"No." Is all he can seem to say and Blaine looked conflicted, chewing on his lip as his glance passed between the three of us.

"Blaine please."

"Don't you dare."

"Do it."

"Don't you touch my wife." He shoves Blaine back, and unprepared, Blaine loses his grip on her wrist, all pressure being lost and nothing to stop the blood flowing out.

My dad stands above Blaine who he'd pushed back into a sitting position, "Get. Out." He grabs Blaine's collar, dragging him to his feet and slamming him into the nearest wall. His actions are frantic and Blaine does nothing to fight them. His body is shaking, his eyes a puffy red and his hands glossed with blood, my mother's blood, "Don't put your filthy hands on my wife." He spits at Blaine and before anyone can do anything to stop it his first collides with his jaw. Blaine's head spins to the side in an uncomfortable angle and that seems to be his breaking point.

"She's going to die," Blaine growls as he pushes my father away from him, his body tenses and despite the tan, his skin turns ten shades lighter, he breathes frantically. Desperate to control himself.
He manages to.
My father however stumbles back at the force, gripping the countertop as his breath catches in his throat and he looks in fear at Blaine, then toward me.
That's all Blaine needs to pull himself back from the edge, his skin turning back to a living colour as he looks at me for reassurance and I nod.

We didn't have a choice.

He knelt down, pulling my mother's clean wrist into his hand and drawing out a clear line of blood along the most prominent vein.

Within seconds she'd pulled herself up so her back was straight, yanking her hand from Blaine's grip, he steps back in response.

I wonder for a second how she'll react and in the time it takes him to stand her mind seems to be made. I step forward, cautiously and Blaine glances back, his eyes cloudy and conflicted.
It should've been me.

"Get out, both of you, now," My mom snaps, "especially you." She glares at Blaine and I can't imagine how sickening that must've felt.

"Mom you were going to die." I yell, losing all control of my emotion, I can't figure out if it's guilt or anger I feel. I don't feel guilty for turning her, even if I should, I certainly feel guilty for making Blaine do it. He didn't ask for any of this, he had warned me.

"I would've died soon anyway, I was ready. You stole that from me." Ready? How can anyone say that?

My dad steps toward us now, his face stern, "Don't make this harder than it is Lexi." Call me cupcake daddy, please, don't be mad.

I go to protest but Blaine grabs my arm as I step forward, "let's give them some space yeah?" My sight becomes blurry as I look up at him, but I know he's right so I nod. He sighs, rubbing my arm as he leads me out the house.

I hear a quick "that's right." from behind me and it takes everything in me, and I'm sure it takes everything in Blaine, too not to turn round and scream at them until my voice breaks.

She not only hates us, she hates herself, we subjected her to that.