Misconceptions (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 15 ~ Zayn

Chapter 15 ― Zayn

We were back and the next day we were going to Harry’s bungalow where we were going to spend holidays together. Where Mila was going to be close to me all the time. I wasn’t sure why that kept me so excited and nervous at the same time.

As I was packing for the next day, the memory of when I hugged Mila at the airport came to my mind. Hugging her felt so different yet so familiar, like having her in my arms was the most normal thing in the world. She felt so small in my arms, but I really felt like she fit in there. Was that even possible? Was it normal for me to feel like that?

It had been difficult to see Niall and Alex recreating a movie scene in the airport, but with one look at Mila, I just forgot about that, I forgot about how much I wanted to be in Niall’s shoes and I just could look at her, being trapped in Harry’s arm and not in mine. Sometimes it surprised me how jealous I could get at Harry and Mila’s relationship. They seemed so close and it was obvious both adored each other, but could that end up in something beyond friendship? It was amazing how much that question haunted me and I hated that the answer might be yes. I hated the idea of Mila and Harry together, I hated it so much.

I feared I was caring too much for Mila and if I did, then I would end up in the same situation that happened with Alex. She would pick someone over me and I would end up alone, wishing something, someone I couldn’t have. I didn’t want to go through the same situation again.

I sighed and closed my bag before sitting on my bed. I held my head with my hands and messed with my hair as I tried to push those thoughts aside. I couldn’t like a girl who had to make an effort to be nice to me; I couldn’t like a girl who obviously liked one of my best mates better. I just couldn’t. Yet everything pointed at the fact I already did.

I was afraid of these days to come. Yes, I was excited, but I was scared that maybe things would get more complicated for me, that my feelings for Mila were going to deepen and I would end up stuck in a worse situation.

One thing was good about this: Alex was the least of my problems now.

Why, when I laid my eyes on a girl, this girl had to like someone else? Why, when someone who really caught my attention appeared, someone who could see the real me, this girl didn’t like me back? First Alex, now Mila. I seriously was an unlucky bastard.

+ + + + +

“Zayn, you ready?” Louis asked from the living room. I sighed as I grabbed my bag and put it over my shoulder and walked out of my room.

The day had come, we were going to Harry’s family’s bungalow and I barely slept the night before. I had so many questions in my mind, so many what ifs that I just couldn’t close my eyelids. And that was so weird in me, who loved sleeping. Sleeping had always been easy for me. I was damn tired from our flight, from this trip to America and even then I couldn’t sleep; so I looked like a zombie that just walked out of its grave. Lucky enough I wasn’t driving that day or Eleanor, Louis, Liam and I would’ve ended up dead.

I was so nervous and anxious and excited and still a bit scared about this trip. There were ten days we were going to spend together and I knew, I just had this feeling, that many things were going to change and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for these changes.

“Coming,” I shouted as I made my way to the living room where Liam, Louis and Eleanor were waiting for me. We made groups to travel and we were one; Alex, Niall and Phebs were another, and Mila, Moni and Harry were the last one, so we were going to have three cars for us during these days at Harry’s bungalow.

“Mate, you look awful,” Louis said when I met them and I just rolled my eyes.

“Well thank you, man. Today I woke up whishing someone would tell me how fucking great I look,” I snapped and I saw their surprised expressions.