Ocean Eyes

Chapter 15

OCEAN EYES. CH.15

     Blaine looked up as Kurt walked back into the apartment, taking a deep breath. "Hey." He said softly.
     Kurt smiled softly, sitting beside Blaine. "Hey, you." He said, scooting closer to him and gently setting a hand on his thigh.
     Blaine looked down at Kurt's hand, then back up into his eyes. "What are you doing?"
     Kurt lifted a hand to run it through Blaine's hair, smiling softly. "I'm just- I'm trying to be your boyfriend." He said, biting his lip. "I feel like we're just roommates, and I know that's partially my fault, but I want to be 'us' again."
     Blaine listened as Kurt spoke, frowning. "Us? How can there be an us when I don't even know who I am, much less who you are." He said, looking up into Kurt's eyes. "I'm in a huge city, I feel lost, my parents disowned me... I'm sorry, but I just don't feel like 'us' should be a priority."
     Kurt swallowed thickly, pulling away. "So, what? You don't want to be with me?"
     Blaine sighed. "It's not that, it's just- how can I say for sure when I don't know you?" He asked softly.
     Kurt rolled his eyes. "Are you kidding me? I've been living here with you for a week now, and everyday I try to talk to you. I try to tell you about what you've forgotten and you just push me away. You always change the subject or go in the other room or something- don't you get how frustrating that is? I feel like you don't even care that I'm here taking care of you." He said, taking a deep breath. "Maybe I should just go."
     Blaine swallowed thickly, guilt overcoming him as Kurt spoke. He has been scared to let himself be vulnerable, but the thought of Kurt leaving made him panic. "Of course I care that you're taking care of me." He whispered, sniffling softly. "Y-You're gonna leave?"
     Kurt shrugged. "Is that what you want?"
     Blaine shook his head quickly. "No." He whispered. "I don't want you to go. I have nobody if you're gone." He breathed. "Look- I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I don't make you feel appreciated. I just- I'm trying to figure out myself and my life, and I don't know how to be a good boyfriend." He sighed. "You've done so much for me, and I want you to stay."
     Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes, taking a deep breath. "You'll talk to me more if I stay? And at least promise that we can try to work on our relationship?" He asked softly. "Because I can't just stay here and only ever be your friend, Blaine. I'm crazy in love with you." 
     Blaine nodded. "Yes. I promise." He whispered, looking down and letting out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry." He breathed out, tears slowly starting to fall from his eyes.
     Kurt sighed sadly, shaking his head. "Don't cry, honey, why are you crying?" He asked gently, setting a hand on Blaine's.
      Blaine looked down at Kurt's hand, before sitting up and pressing himself into Kurt's arms. "I'm so scared, Kurt." He breathed through tears, burying his head in Kurt's neck. "Please don't leave me. I-I'm trying so hard to be the person I was."
     Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine, shaking his head. "Shh, I'm not gonna leave you." He whispered, sliding a hand up and down Blaine's back. "And listen- you don't have to try to be who you were, okay? You're still that guy. Just because you lost your memory doesn't mean you're not still Blaine."
     Blaine gripped onto the fabric of Kurt's shirt, closing his eyes tightly as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'm sorry I've been such a jerk to you, I-I just didn't want to let myself trust you because I was so scared and-"
      Kurt cut him off, tugging him closer into his arms. "It's okay." He whispered. "You have every right to be scared, and to not trust me yet. I was just frustrated because I felt like you hated me- I felt like you just wanted me to leave."
     Blaine shook his head. "I never wanted you to leave." He whispered, taking a deep breath as he relaxed into Kurt's arms. "C-Can we lay in bed? These pain pills make me tired." He laughed gently, wiping at his eyes.
     Kurt bit his lip. "You want me to lay with you?"
     Blaine nodded, pulling back to look into Kurt's eyes. "Yeah." He whispered, his hands resting on Kurt's shoulders.
     Kurt smiled slightly, standing up and keeping an arm around Blaine as they walked into the bedroom. He helped him up into bed, before climbing in on the other side and tugging the covers over them.
     Blaine let out a deep breath as they got into bed, wrapping his arms around Kurt's torso and pressing himself against him. "Thank you for being here with me." He breathed.
     Kurt nodded. "I'll always be here."