Shape of me✔️

Frosty kisses

       ~~S H A P E  O F M E~~
The good Lord was giving me all the signs I needed, but I still ignored them like the idiot I was. You know that thrumming you feel in your heart, that fluttering feeling that makes you tipsy, that queasiness that makes you question your balance when you love someone. Yes all of that I felt at once and it scared me as I didn't want to admit that I felt anything for him.

At least not yet.

I was falling hard and the only thing that kept me teteering on the edge of sanity was my dignity.

But all the love in the world including what I felt couldn't change the fact that he didn't go to church. Who doesn't go to church, you may ask. Well everyone I knew did except Malik and it  bothered me more than I could admit.

"Let's rise for the hymn of consecration." The leader of the praise team announced and I found myself standing up mechanically. I was in church but church was far from what was on my mind. Malik was taking more than enough space than he was supposed to and that meant nothing else could fit in my brain. Not even praise and worship.

Since the past week, we—Malik and I—had started to build a platonic (and dangerously close) relationship. Well that was what Malik thought. My heart on the other hand was misbehaving and catching feelings no one threw my way.

I wondered more than often if Malik saw me as anything more than a friend. Apart from the few hints he sent my way that could mean almost anything, there was literally nothing to show that he saw me as a woman. And I know I shouldn't care, but I did.

Being a gentleman that he was, he had dropped me off at home severally, and even joined me in shovelling snow more than twice. Did people willingly shovel snow with someone they didn't see as special?

"You can now take your seats." The congregation was told to sit down and I sat with them without thinking much of what I was doing.

The church was packed to its maximum today because of Thanksgiving. This was the only reason why I was sitting far away from Mami as there were no extra seats in the row where she kept an eye over Tunde and Titi, making sure they didn't sleep.

Although she wasn't right beside me, I could feel her boring holes through the back of my head from a few seats back, daring me to sleep.

I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to. I had so much to irrelevantly worry myself over. Malik.

The church rose again then sat then rose again and sat.  Now the rising thing was beginning to slowly grate on me. I was trying to ponder on important matters and all the praise team could think of was rising and sitting.

People found it weird whenever I told them about my church—Seventh Day Adventist. It seemed like such a fascinating story to hear about people worshipping on Saturdays. The icing on the cake was how very modest we were. We didn't dance or clap and neither did we speak in tongues.

In Nigeria we were known for our university in Lagos, Babcock. Other than that, we weren't overly popular. Not many people wanted to sacrifice their Saturdays for church and I didn't blame them to be honest.

The choir members marched into the church and took their seats next to the altar. It was time for them to render their annoying and poorly rehearsed songs. No disrespect meant, but I didn't really hold our choir in high esteem.

In my opinion, the children's choir was even better. Maybe it was because of the fact that I kept comparing them to the choir in my church back in Nigeria who on the other hand were extraordinarily, beautifully and amazingly good. Maybe that was too many adjectives, but that was how they really were.