How Could You?

Chapter 18: I Like Your Hair

Yoongi POV

Taking a deep breath as I stare at the closed door in front of me, I already feel like crying. Raising my hand shakily, I don't know how I manage to even knock on the door.

With no answer, I sigh, resting my forehead against the door. I feel my tears begin to fall already, but I don't even care.

"Annie?" I choke out softly after knocking again. Glancing back down the hall, Brian is no longer anywhere to be found. He must've gone into his own room to give me space.

I hear soft movements from inside the room before hearing quiet choked sobs. What's left of my heart drops at the sound.

"Go away." She answers, her voice muffled due to the door between us and possibly anything else that she has on the bed with her. I close my eyes in pain.

"Annie, please. I'm sorry." I tell her, my voice cracking as I speak. I hear more muffled movements but don't receive a response.

"Annie, please. I just want to talk. Explain and apologize." I try once more, my voice cracking multiple times as more tears spill over.

"I don't want to see you." She responds so quietly that I almost don't catch it. I sigh, biting my lip.

"You don't have to. Just cover your eyes or close them. You don't have to look at me, just let me in and listen, baby." I beg.

On the verge of giving up altogether, I almost fall when the door opens. I quickly snap up, wide eyes as I finally see her. Sure enough, she's got a hand over her eyes as she keeps her head ducked, walking back to the bed once the door's been opened.

Falling to my knees at her actions, I begin sobbing all over again. I'm ecstatic at the fact that she actually let me in, but also completely terrified that I'm going to fuck up again. That I'm not going to be able to fix this and make her mine again.

After a few minutes, I force myself to pull myself together. Stumbling to get up off the floor, I gently shut the door behind me before walking over to her bed.

She's sat up against the headboard of the bed, knees pulled up to her chest as she hides her face by resting her forehead against her knees. Biting my lip nervously, I take my chances and sit down next to her, only leaving a small distance between us as I face her. It kills me sitting this close to her, yet having so much distance between us still.

"Annie, I..." I pause, trying to find the words, find a way to fix this. To explain myself. But there is nothing to explain. I fucked up and I knew it the second I let it happen.

"I'm so sorry, Annie. I... I don't know how to fix this or what to do to make things better. What I did was wrong... So wrong and I shouldn't have done what I did. I... I have no excuses for what happened because excuses don't fix things. I was a complete idiot, lost in missing you too much... I can't begin to explain to you how sorry I am for putting you through that too. I... Fuck, I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." I choke out softly, biting my lip and hanging my head at the end.

We stay like this for a few minutes, nothing but painful silence between us. She doesn't lift her head up or move with the exception of pulling herself tighter together, while I begin crying all over again. Choking back a couple sobs, I try to get a grip on myself.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through, Annie. You deserve so much better than what I've been for you... I've never wanted to hurt you. Never wanted to put you through any pain... I wanted to be the one you could go to. The one that could protect you from all the pain in this world. The one that could genuinely make you happy... Yet I've managed to even fuck that up...