Poems

i miss me

There was this part of me before,
this whole other person that made me,
you remember her as the one who you fell in love with.
The one who got knots in her stomach when you looked at her,
The one who shivered when you touched her thigh,
The one who blushed when you said you loved me,
The one who didn't say she loved you unless she felt it in the moment,
The one who let you touch her but still seemed shy,
The one who rarely said no to you.
The one who was ticklish all over her body
You could destroy her or make her day with just one look.
I know you miss her.
I'd say that I do too.
I want her back too, I don't know who I am now.
Help me find her and get her back.

Tell me you love me no matter how I am,
let me make these mistakes I seem to be making all the time now,
help me let go of this bitter person I've become,
it's not good enough for you,
remind me that I love you,
Take that power you used to have over me back,
I miss that vulnerability of knowing you could break me with one look.
I don't like being this strong with you.
Don't talk to me all the time,
let me miss you till it aches like it used to,
Let me work for you like you did for me,
let me earn you the way you deserve to be,
let me cry and wail and blame you for everything,
let me realise it's all my fault on my own.
Let me remind myself that I can't be without you,
Be with me, Jaan, be with me till I can be on my own.