Poems

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I cheated before I met you,
let another man touch me
in all the places I should've saved up for you,

I'm sorry I lived a little of my life,
and didn't stand still for every second
to make room for you in every part of it.

I'm sorry I developed likes and dislikes
for food, and poetry, and clothes, and movies,
before I knew what you would've liked in me

I'm sorry I didn't wait for you like I should have,
like everyone told me to because
doesn't life only truly start after I meet you?

I thought I'd tell you all of this in tears,
hoping that you'd forgive me for all of this,
committing crimes I didn't know the penalty of.

I promise I lived as little as I could,
I felt guilty after everything I did,
everything I didn't know you'd approve of.

I didn't expect you to laugh at me.
I didn't expect you to trivialise this,
and wave it away like it was nothing.

I should've been thankful, happy, relieved,
You forgave me for all my sins after all
all the things that everyone told me were unforgivable.

I didn't expect you to tell me you've done worse,
that I never crossed your mind
until you met me in person today for the first time.

I didn't expect this anger inside me,
how dare you take away my life before you,
and act like it was no big deal

I didn't expect this sadness at myself,
I have no one else to blame for my decisions,
For living my life by rules made by somebody I don't even know.