Chapter Eighteen

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HI GUISSEE (;

HOW YOUSE DOING? THANKYOU FOR THE SUPPORT AND EVERYTHING!

YOU GUYS ARE LITTERALLY THE BEST READERS AND YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO WARM

AND SPECIAL INSIDE

I LOVE YOU ALL

XOXO

BACK TO THE STORY.

My phone rang for the millionth time this morning, and I knew exactly who it was. It was Jai. He's probably checking on me. I put it on silent and ignored it.

 Today, I woke up with tears already  streaming down my face that I didnt even notice until I could taste them. 

I had a nigthmare. 

The nightmare was that Uncle Cage passed away and Marcus and Chace got taken away from Aunt May because she started drinking and they had to live with foster parents and we couldnt see them again.

Just when everything is going amazingly something or someone has to fuck it up. The day before yesterday, I have been the happiest I've been in I dont know...a fucking LONG time. 

Jai brought me happiness. He brought a smile to my face. He still can, I dont why but I just dont feel like being happy right now I dont deserve to be happy right now, not when Uncle Cage is suffering a brain tumour.

I cant even think straight.  My thoughts are all over place.

I keep thinking of Uncle Cage and Jai and Timmy.

I've lost Timmy, and i just dont want to lose anyone anymore. It hurts so fucking much to know that you can never see them again.

Life is cruel like that.

Unle Cage is acting like everyhting is okay, when everything is not okay. Its far from it.

He tried acting cheery, and smiley but I could see it in his eyes, that he's worried and scared. I also noticed the sudden weight loss and the fact that his usual olive skin is paler. He deffinately looks sicker.

He gave us all breakfast this morning, but it wasn't the same and I dont think it will be for a while.

Marcus and Chace had bloodshot eyes, and red cheeks but I probably have the same. 

No one really talked.at all.

Even Marcus didnt say anything, and Aunt May looked stressed out.

I feel sorry for her aswell.

After breakfast I just shut myself in here again. When I feel sad or really depressed, I put really sad music on and just stare at the cielling, and just listen to the lyrics. I do this because sometimes it just feels like some songs are meant to be written for you because of the way you relate to them and that maybe someone feels the same way as you out there eventhough, they might be famous.

It makes you think and want to cry.

I tried to think possitively aswell.

Uncle Cage is a strong guy, and our family is supportive and so, he can pull through and live. I'm probably just over reacting right?

I dont know how long  just layed there and listened, not even thinking about anything else. Just relaxing. I nearly even forgot about Uncle Cage. I just forgot about the world.

Then I heard a banging on my door, like three loud knocks, using the side of the persons fist. This obviously pulled me out of my 'forgetting the world mood'

Heart nuisance (Janoskians fanfic- Jai Brooks) COMPLETED AND BEING EDITEDWhere stories live. Discover now