Who Would've Thought

Oh How I've Missed You

        "You've got to be joking. You can't seriously believe that", Jo complained as we walked into the lunchroom.
        "I'm sorry but Loki isn't that attractive", I told her.
        "I can't believe you can say that straight faced! I mean yeah he's no Thor but he's still good looking!" I rolled my eyes and laughed at her as we approached our table. Now that all my friends were back, it's like we never got separated. We're still loud and obvious to those around us and our humor clearly won't ever change. That's what the dicks on my cast claim anyway.
        The day had been a good one so far. At least it was in my perspective. I still had pain obviously and people tended to stare quite a bit but seeing the bruises on Alastair's face was nice. The cut on his lip, which had to have come from Dean, was pretty satisfying too. He had avoided me all day and Meg hadn't grown the balls to approach me yet. I had my friends and my table back and the classes didn't seem too difficult to catch up on. The only thing that worried me was seventh period. I fell behind on my car and would have to stay after school today, or at least that's what Jo was telling me. The car wasn't my concern though. It was who taught the class in the first place. I hadn't seen Dean in awhile even if he had seen me on Saturday night. I was nervous to say the least to have to talk to him about the car, or in general. Even with Jo's reassurance, I still wasn't convinced things would be okay.
        Lunch passed rather quickly and sadly so did fifth and sixth period. Although the time in theater did seem to help my nerves a little, but I was all worried again when the end of sixth period bell rang. Jo was waiting for me at my locker and we walked to mechanics together. "I swear I'll fucking pop her", Jo threatened.
        "Really not necessary", I told her.
        "Yeah you say that now. Wait until she comes up to you and calls you Clarence and tries to act like she can solve your problems. You'll wish you would've let me punched her while she approached." I bit my lip and shook my head, glad Jo was ready to get on my side if necessary. I wondered how helpful that could be with Dean. When we walked in the room, it made no difference. Inspections were coming up again, since the inspection from about two weeks ago had some bad results for most. The students were too focused on their cars to realize I was in the room, at least for the moment. I could feel Dean looking at me but obviously discretely as no one seemed to notice anything odd.
        However, when Meg walked over people seemed to take notice then. "I'll do it", Jo muttered as she set a tools down to grab another.
        "No you won't", I mumbled back. I set my tool down myself, just to avoid having something dangerous to swing at Meg's head.
        "Well isn't this nice. Jo and Clarence side by side again", she smirked as she walked up. "It's almost like you didn't ruin lives huh Clarence?"
        "Just stop while you're ahead", I muttered.
        "What was that Clarence? I couldn't hear anything with your lip being all fucked up. What's wrong? You and Alastair too rough in bed together or something?" Everyone in the room tensed and I saw Jo's nose flare. Dean stood on his feet immediately but it didn't matter. No one would reach me or her in time. I turned slightly just to turn around and throw a fist in Meg's face. Her head flew back and suddenly everyone was rushing forward. Gordon and Crowley grabbed Meg before she got it me and Dean and Jo pulled me back from charging at her.
        "Let go of me", I growled. "I said let go!" I shook them off and started screaming. "You're a fucking bitch Meg. Tell Alastair to kindly jump off a bridge and you can fucking join him. I'm so sick of shit from the two of you and frankly if either of you come up to me again you can bet your ass I'll-", I started until Jo threw her hand over my mouth.
        "Watch what you say Cas. She'll get you in even deeper shit of you threaten her more right now", Jo warned. She stood on her toes and leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Nice punch though."
        "Gordon kindly take Miss Masters to the nurse. Everyone return to your vehicles. Novak stay after class so we can talk punishment for harming another student", Dean said cooly. Gordon grabbed onto Meg's arm and dragged her from the room and Jo couldn't help the smirk on her face.
        "Wrong arm or not, that was a solid punch mate", Crowley started appreciatively. I smirked to myself and slyly fist bumped Jo before returning to my vehicle. If only I could've punched Alastair that well all the time. The class passed by quickly after that, and I didn't get much done. It's harder to build a car with only one arm, and it doesn't help its my non-dominate arm still functioning. When the bell rang, everyone filled out except for Crowley, Gordon, Jo, myself, and Dean. Gordon stepped up to Dean's desk and they talked for a moment before Dean waved him off. "Lucky little bastard talked his way out of having to stay another evening", Crowley scoffed.
"Oh you're just pissed cause you fucked your radiator the other day and have to stay to fix it", Jo remarked with a laugh.
"Don't worry about it tonight Crowley. Go home and you can stay after tomorrow", Dean spoke up from his desk. "Jo you're on track, no surprise, go home. Castiel clean your area and then come to back so we can talk." With that he stood up and disappeared behind curtains towards the back of the room, where he normally parks Baby when she needs worked on. I looked over at Jo and saw her and Crowley both watching me.
"It'll be okay", Jo whispered.
"Yeah", I sighed with a nod. "Let's hope so. I'll catch up with you guys later." They waved a bye and Jo wished me luck before they left to go home for the evening. I took a deep breath and reorganized my area before heading towards the curtain. When I stepped behind it, the hood to the impala was open and Dean was using a flashlight to look at something. I came up to the side of the car and bit my lip, waiting for him to talk. He didn't say anything though and just kept looking at the car, fiddling with things. "She okay", I asked quietly after a few moments.
"She's fine. Needs an oil change and tune up is all", Dean exhaled deeply. He turned the light off and tossed it aside before closing the hood. "And you?" I frowned in confusion for a moment before I realized he was asking if I was okay.
"Fine, if a broken arm and bruises mean fine anyway", I responded meekly. He absently scratched at his chin before turning away and standing on the other side of the car. He walked around the side and checked it up and down, as if he was trying to stall whatever he had to say. Maybe he didn't know, like I didn't  know what to say at the moment.
"I heard what you said to Ellen", he said finally. I nodded, looking at the floor and not responding. What the hell was there to say to that? "Or some of it anyway. Bits and pieces but", he traveled off. I tried to keep myself from moving much, I feel like more movement would make things even more awkward and uncomfortable. "So now it's hard to know what to believe." He walked over to the work bench and grabbed some things to bring over to Baby.
"The truth is probably best", I mumbled.
"Yeah but what is the truth Cas", Dean shouted, making me flinch slightly and look up at him for the first time. He looked tired and had miles of bags under his eyes. He looked scruffy, like he hadn't shaved in a week or two. "I mean one minute everyone's running around talking about you having sex with...with him. The next everyone's saying you're acting like a victim and then everyone says you really are a victim along with a bunch of other girls! No tells me one thing but she never knew for sure and told me to stay away and told Sam just to make me keep away. Now she's fine with you and insist we need to talk. So tell me Cas, out of all those options, what's the truth? What's the real story?" Dean seemed out of breath and was enraged, and I felt my heart break even more than it already had. I honestly didn't know there was that much to break in the first place.
"I'm sorry", I apologized quietly. Dean shook his head and suddenly chucked the tool in his hand across the room, resulting in loud clattering. I jumped slightly, ending up closer to Dean than before. He whirled around and stormed up to me.
"Sorry doesn't tell me shit", he shouted. I flinched and something shifted in his eyes. The next time he spoke, he was far gentler. "Please for the love of god just tell me what happened. Tell me the truth", he pleaded. His hands wrapped around my arms near my elbows so I couldn't walk off. He rested his forehead on mine, forcing me to look him in the eyes and I could tell his eyes were watering. Hell I knew mine were too.
"Alastair...he...he um", I stuttered.
"Alastair what", Dean asked in a begging tone. "What did he do?"
"He raped me", I whispered as tears streamed down my face. I quickly launch into the story do the party, of what happened and how words got turned and turned back and twisted all around. By the end of the story I was crying quite hardly and Dean was too, just not as much as me. "I'm sorry", I choked out. "Fuck Dean I'm so so sor-", he cut me off by pressings his lips to mine lightly. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me and it was then when nothing else mattered. I stood up straighter and recaptured his lips and wrapped my hand his neck and trying to grab his arm with the hand in a cast.
He turned us and backed up until I hit the counter and he quickly lifted me onto it, squeezing between my legs. He pulled back after a minute and rested his head against mine, not going too far. "I'm sorry Cas", he said, his voice breaking. "I should've been around. I should've asked you first instead of believing it but Jo said you wanted it. I assumed she knew, even if she seemed unsure and I just ignored you and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry Cas. I'm so fucking sorry", he apologized. He pecked my lips and apologized before kissing me again, continuing the pattern.
"Not like it was your fault", I mumbled through the kiss. He pulled away and buried his face in my neck, his hands wrapped around my waist.
"Yeah but it wasn't yours either", he noted. I used my non broken arm to wrap around him and pull him as close and humanly possible to me, burrying my face in his shoulder. "Fuck I missed you Cas", Dean groaned.
"I've missed you too", I whimpered. His grip tightened on me but he pulled back to look at me.
"I think we've gotta sort some shit out", he whispered. I nodded and wiped at my eyes numbly, grimacing when I had to touch the swollen one. I hated that I would have to leave him but he was right. There were things to figure out and I knew he'd want to be alone but fuck I didn't want to have to let go. Not when he was so close. "What are you doing tonight", he asked suddenly, surprising me.
"Popping pain meds but other than that nothing", I replied. "Why?"
"Well it's hard to figure shit out without you around now isn't it", he chuckled at nothing particularly.
"You want me around", I asked shocked.
"Cas I almost lost you forever because I didn't have you around, because I didn't talk to you. I'm not making that same mistake again", he reasoned. I nodded and leaned forward and he meet me for a quick kiss. "Let's go", he said after he pulled back.
"What about the cars", I questioned as we entered the impala.
"The impala can wait until tomorrow for an oil change and you can catch up on your car another day. Unless you feel like it's more important", he stated as he looked over at me. I shook my head.
"Fuck the car. Let's go", I said if not somewhat excitedly. He laughed and fuck if it wasn't a beautiful sound to hear. Looking over, he looked different than he did when I first came into the back room. He looked younger almost, not as tired and I realized I probably looked the same. Except maybe slightly fucked up, okay very, but same thing. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it before backing us out of the garage and leaving the school. It took a few moments but I quickly discovered where we were headed. "Is Benny gonna kill me if he sees me", I asked shyly.
"You afraid of Benny", he asked teasingly.
"Am I terrified to see a friend of yours who is a beast and looks like he could give one sucker punch and kill a guy? Hell yes", I responded. Dean grinned and shook his head.
"You have no idea how much I've missed you", he chuckled. I grinned and tried to keep the heat from reaching my face, I forgot how easy Dean could make me blush, even over nothing. "Don't worry. I'll run in and grab it to go. It'll probably be easier to talk if we're not surrounded by other people." I nodded in response and gripped his hand tighter, hoping I wouldn't break his fingers from holding on too tight. He didn't seem bothered though and his grip was just as tight. Clearly neither of us were wanting to let go.

        "You try, you try", he laughed.
        "I won't catch it", I laughed. He shook his head.
        "No you can. You got this. Ready", Dean questioned. I nodded and got on my knees as he launch a piece of chicken in the air. It ended up hitting my lower lip and Dean lost it, although I can't blame him because I was laughing too. "Maybe not."
        "Shut up", I exclaimed, tackling him. He caught me and flipped to where he was hovering over me. He grinned before leaning down to kiss me again and this time I let him slid his tongue in, deepening the kiss. I felt panicked at first because the last tongue in my mouth definitely wasn't wanted but I blocked it out and forced myself to realize this was different. This was Dean, not Alastair. He nipped at my lower lip before pulling away and pulling me into my side by him.
        "Hi", he grinned.
        "Hi", I replied before leaning forward to kiss him again quickly. I quickly remembered how exhilarating being with Dean was. I just wish we hadn't been apart because even though being with Dean is great, I can sense something different. Dean probably can too.
        "Earth to Cas", he joked, pulling me from my thoughts. "Thinking about something?"
        "Just wishing we wouldn't have lost time like this", I said quietly. He nodded and we both calmed down some.
        "Things don't have to be different Cas", he insisted softly. "They really don't. I don't know about you but I definitely want to forget that blip in time. It was the worst month of my life."
        "Mine too", I stated. We sat up and faced each other, grabbing some more of Benny's Cajun chicken to eat.
        "Here's what I propose", he started off. "We go slow. We go on a date somewhere and we see each other after school liked we used to. After awhile, it'll be normal again. I hated the time spent apart Cas. It killed me and it killed Sam to watch it kill me. At least that's what he claims. I don't want to have to do it again. I don't care of what happened. I care about you and we can go as slow as you need us to. It can't have been easy to go through that so if you want there can be an us, just take all the time you need. I still love you and I'm not going anywhere." At this my heart pounded in my chest and I smiled up at him.
"Okay", I agreed.
"Okay?"
"Okay", I assured before going to his lap to kiss him again. If Dean could forget what happened, so could I. "I love you too by the way."
"Yeah I know", he joked. "What time do you have to be home?" I shrugged, not only cause I didn't know but the longer I could push it off the better. He smiled again before kissing me again and we sat like that for awhile, no heat really driving anything. Just getting used to the sensation again, even though simple kisses like this still get my heart racing. "Stay", Dean whispered through the kiss and I pulled back slightly to look at him. "If you want to anyway I mean you don't have to-", he stuttered out before I cut him off by reconnecting our lips.
"I want to. I really want to", I told him before kissing him again. I could feel him grin into the kiss and I couldn't help the smile that came to my face. It took forever but I finally got Dean back. There was no way I'd be going this soon, if ever.