Who Would've Thought

Aftermath and Decisions

        I woke several times during the night. I had so many nightmares I couldn't even begin to separate them anymore. In the dreams, if my father wasn't beating me, then my aunt and uncle were. That or they would find Dean and he would fight back, turning violent like them and everyone got hurt. There was even a nightmare that my father and aunt had really laid into me and it made my brothers realize just how done they were of me because of the drama I caused. In another one my mom killed herself to escape the pain brought to her because of the fury of my father seeing me.
       Each time I woke up either crying, sweating, or bolting upright. Each time Dean would grab ahold of me and hold me close to him and tell me it was all okay and that he wouldn't let anything or anyone get to me. The last time I woke up was at 5:35 in the morning and I had fallen asleep with my head buried in Dean's neck and his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.
        When I woke up again, it wasn't due to a nightmare and I had silent praises for that. However, my head was pounding so my praises didn't last that long. What woke me up this time was the sound of talking and I realized the phone ringing earlier had to have been real and not in a dream. I laid still and didn't open my eyes and listened as Dean talked. "He's fine now Gabriel. Yes, he woke up several times from bad dreams last night but he's finally sleeping peacefully so you'll have to wait to talk to him." There was silence and I knew Gabriel had to be arguing.
        My heart then stopped and my eyes flew open. I hoped to god Gabriel didn't say what happened yesterday because I didn't want to face it, not yet. I certainly didn't want Dean to have learn it this way. A few minutes later Dean sighed. "Of course I'll look after him. I'm not going to force him to talk though. Listen I'm hungover as fuck and don't want to risk waking your brother. I promise I'll have him call later once he's awake and you can talk." There was another moment of silence before Dean said goodbye and hung up before coming back to the bed and sliding back beside me.
         I closed my eyes slightly to make it seem like I hadn't ease dropped, but Dean called me out on it. "I know you're awake dumbass", he grumbled. "Morning Cas." I smiled and opened my eyes to be met with the greenest eyes in the world, although today brown molded in to even it out. It was probably there due to the alcohol.
        "Morning Dean. Sorry if my brother woke you", I yawned. After another moment I fearfully decided to ask him something. "What did Gabe say?"
        "He was just wondering if you were okay because you didn't answer anyone's calls or texts yesterday. I explained that you were busy doing a Christmas thing and having fun. He just wanted to know if you were okay after yesterday", he explained. I relaxed and Dean pulled me in close to him which I greatly appreciated. I clutched onto him and ignored my pounding headache. With a sigh I decided I might as well tell him what happened yesterday because waiting wouldn't make it any easier.
        "My aunt made some jabs at my yesterday where she basically called me worthless and a disappointment without directly saying it. She clearly doesn't see me as part of the family anymore", I started.
        "Cas you don't have to-", Dean tried to tell me. I cut him off though with a shake of my head.
        "No it's fine. I want you to know. You need to know. Anyway my dad joined in and yelled how I was a disappointment and a disgrace to the family. He hates me and he hates that I wanted to spend Christmas with you or with a boy at all for that matter. He basically said to stop being gay or move out of the house because no gay person was allowed to live under his roof. Essentially I was decreed homeless yesterday", I told him. I cleared my throat to choke back the emotion I felt coming to my voice. I fought back tears and managed to do so well surprisingly.
        "I'm sorry Cas", Dean said after a moment. "I'm sorry they're like that. I don't know why they are and I would change it if I could. Just know you don't ever have to change yourself for anyone and especially not them. I love you babe and if they don't want you there then you won't be there and it's as simple as that." I nodded and leaned further against him, feeling utterly sick and tired.
       "Can I sleep again and talk to my brothers later", I mumbled. I could feel Dean's body shake with a soft laugh and he nodded.
        "Of course", he assured. I smiled slightly before falling back to sleep, hoping I wouldn't wake up and throw up in his bed.