Falling Into You

Burn It All Down

I knew the second I walked into the house that everything would change. I had to do the right thing. I broke my vow to her and I knew she'd make me pay. I intended to tell her what I had done. Deep down I hoped that she would understand and forgive me. The reality however, would be much different. I knew Selena better than anyone. She'd been cheated on before and she wouldn't accept it coming from me.

It was strange walking through the front door a cheater. It wasn't a familiar feeling to me at all. I wasn't that person, except now I was and I had no idea what I was doing.

She was sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee in her hands. I wasn't sure what she was looking at, if anything, as she stared out the sliding glass doors. She looked small and frail as if she had been sick for a while. She was sick, but unfortunately it was an ailment that I couldn't cure. Her heart was broken. She was mourning the loss of our daughter.

"You didn't come home last night." She rasped.

She sounded tired and upset.

"No I didn't." I said as neutrally as I could manage.

I stood in the archway and waited for her to speak again. I was trying to find the courage to tell her.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you..." She said as she choked up. "You didn't deserve..."

"I slept with Ruby." I interrupted. "Last night. That's why I didn't come home."

The words seemed to hit her like a ton of bricks. As she sat there and processed what I had just told her, I knew that I had just destroyed whatever parts of her that were still left. I watched as she fought to maintain her composure. She wasn't going to let me see any weakness. There wouldn't be anything I could use to my advantage. This was going to hurt.

Her brown eyes met mine and that's when I saw it, the rage. I knew that she was hurting, but she wasn't going to show it to me. I caused it. It was my fault. She was going to give me everything else and in the process leave me with nothing.

"Why?"

It was a simple question and her voice was much stronger than she probably felt.

I took a deep breath. "I was sad and very lonely....I got drunk and we..."

"So you went to see her?" She snapped as she interrupted.

I could tell the tears were threatening to spill over. The weakness that she so desperately wanted to hide was about to break free.

"No. I went to the bar." My voice sounded so small. "She was at the bar."

She sat there and stared at me as the tears fell down her cheeks. I wanted to hold her but I knew she wouldn't let me. Instead, I stood there and watched helplessly as the divide that existed between us became permanent.

"Did you enjoy yourelf Demi?" She questioned sarcastically. "I mean was it worth it?"

I didn't respond. There was nothing that I could say that would make this right. I just stood there and watched as whatever was left of her heart crumbled.

"Say something." She demanded.

"Selena...." I swallowed. "I'm sorry...I never meant..."

"After all my heart had put me through I thought that it was safe with you Demi!" She cried angrily. "I trusted you."

"It's not like I didn't try Selena!" I yelled back. "How am I supposed to fight for someone that isn't even there? You checked out!"

"So now this is my fault!" She screamed at me as he stood up.