Short Harry Potter Head Canons

Fear

Draco was determined to prove himself to The Dark Lord, but more than anything he was trying to please his father. He knew his mother would love him above everyone else no matter what but he needed to earn his father’s love.

This was what led Draco to agreeing to murder Dumbledore and trying to fix vanishing cabinet. 

Draco felt like he was drowning that year at Hogwarts. Preparing for your N.E.W.T.s was challenging enough for a student without have the added pressure of all that and the fear of death. Though Draco hated to admit it he was terrified of The Dark Lord.

A few weeks into his mission Draco hit rock bottom. There was no way he was going to get that vanishing cabinet to work and he was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a murderer. Draco knew that by admitting this he would be signing his own death warrant. Maybe that was better than living in fear.

Late on a cold September afternoon Draco walked up to the top of the astronomy tower and stood beside the large window. As he stood there with the cool breeze splashing against his face he felt free for the first time since the dark mark had been etched onto his arm.

Draco steeped up onto the window ledge and looked down at the ground. He was very far from the ground.

Draco closed his eyes tight and took one foot off the ledge.

“What are you doing?” Asked a singsong voice from behind him. Draco whipped his head round and saw Loony Lovegood standing behind him.

“Go away.” He hissed in his most threatening voice.

“Why are you doing that Draco?” She asked him curiously, her tone of voice not changing.

“None of your business!” He shouted angrily.

“Are you scared because of he who must not be named?” She asked dreamily.

“I’m not scared!” He insisted.

“Then why are you trying to jump out that window?”

“I’m not, I was just getting some fresh air.” He insisted aggressively, stepping down from the window ledge.

“Oh, okay then.” She said with a smile then Luna skipped off.

Draco was still trying to register what had just happened as he walked down the stairs of the astronomy tower. Luna had made him realize something, he shouldn’t be afraid of The Dark Lord. He should just do his bidding then escape with his family, that was the plan anyway, and he didn’t want to let his mother down.

Draco couldn’t get Luna out of his head after that. He found himself staring absentmindedly at her across the great hall. But he couldn’t get distracted this year. This year he had an important job to do, and nothing was going to get in the way of that, for his family’s sake.