A Beautiful Brain

chapter 14

The next days were like torture for Finn. He went about his business as usual but, as he expected, Rachel was constantly on his mind. Several times, he got into his car and drove towards Rachel's house, only to turn back once he was there. So many times did he think about trying to talk to her again, but what else could he say? He would gladly turn time back and not leave her, but that’s not really an option. What else could he do but leave the choice to her. It seemed fitting too in some way. Still, doing nothing about it was something he couldn’t keep on doing for very long. 

It was Friday afternoon now. He almost made it through the rest of the week without talking to Rachel. He had asked Kyle to check up on her a few times which, thankfully for him, he had done without many questions. Now, the weekend approached and Finn just had to know how she was doing. 

“Hey Kyle, you think maybe you can…”, Finn started to say 

“Check up on that Berry girl again? Jezus Christ man!”, Kyle stated dramatically 

“I thought you were a Buddhist Kyle, what’s with the JC?”, Finn asked, trying to avoid having to talk to Kyle about Rachel. 

“Finn, I’m touched that you want to steer this conversation towards my religion, I really am. But as much as I would love to teach you the ways of the Buddha, there is someone who needs to talk more than me.”, Kyle stated calmly. 

“And who is that?”, Finn asked, having no idea what the hell Kyle meant 

“I said, you need to tell me what’s going on”, Kyle explained 

“Come on Kyle, I just wanna know how she’s doing?”, Finn said 

“Then, what’s wrong with dropping by yourself?”, Kyle asked 

“I told her I’d give her some space”, Finn answered while giving Kyle a desperate look. 

“Finn, I really love ya… in a totally non-gay way, of course… but is having your friends spy on her a part of that space you’re giving?”, Kyle asked in such a calm voice that it started to annoy Finn. “What the hell did you do to her anyway?”, he added. 

Finn thought carefully about his answer. “Does that really matter?”, Finn finally said. 

“That bad huh?”, Kyle shook his head in disapproval. 

“Kyle.. you know, sometimes you can be really annoying” 

“Yeah, I know… but seriously, who is she?” 

“She’s just a friend Kyle.“ 

“Come on Hudson. For cryin’ out loud, look at yourself! You’re pining over her like she’s your first, second and third love all at once, and now you’re telling me she’s just a friend?” 

“I don’t wanna talk about it Kyle. Would you please just do it for me?”, Finn sighed. 

“Fine”, Kyle told him. “But someday, you’re gonna tell me the truth..” 

“..the whole truth and nothing but the truth”, Finn added. “I promise” 

“But I won’t guarantee that day will be anyday soon”, Finn finished in thought 

Rachel is sitting behind her computer, typing like she’s on speed or something. That’s what it seemed like to Kyle anyway. When Rachel saw Kyle approach, she stopped and smiled at him. 

“Hey Kyle” 

“Hey… I was just wondering how your first week was”, Kyle said. He knew it was a lame excuse but he didn’t know what else to say. 

“Finn sent you, d..didn’t he?”, she said. 

“Am I that transparent.. or is he?” 

“Honestly, you two are”, Rachel said, giving him a glance 

“I don’t suppose you wanna tell me why he won’t come to see you?”, Kyle tried 

“Not really” 

“You know, I think he really cares about you” 

“Sorry Kyle, but he hurt me before and someday, he’ll do it again”, she said. 
“Why did I tell him that?”, Rachel immediately thought after that. 

“Rachel, let me share with you, some wise words spoken by the holy Buddha himself. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”, Kyle said. 

“The Buddha sounds smart”, Rachel said. 

“He is. Look I know there’s something big going on with you and Finn. I’m one of his best friends and he won’t tell me anything. The only thing I picked up is that you’re obviously angry with him” 

Rachel didn’t say anything. She didn’t know Kyle all that well and she didn’t want this to become common knowledge at the office. So she said nothing and hoped he would just leave. Kyle got the message and headed towards the door. He opened the door and stood still in the doorway for a few seconds. 

“You know Rachel, let me tell you another lesson I learned from the Buddha: holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”, Kyle said. And then he stepped out of the room.