Mate or Not I still dont want you

Not my moment (skylin)

Ch. 19: Not my moment

Skylin:

Cade completely took me by surprise the moment he entered the office. I had no idea he would stick up for me let alone put cassy in her place. Walking out of the office I could no longer contain my appreciation. I jumped up into Cade's arms squeezing my legs around him thanking him a million times. I was so happy i felt like i could cry. Cade spun me around whispering, "i told you I'd catch you when you fall." I smiled However my smile quickly faded and tension filled my body when my eyes meant blue ones staring at me. My instinct took over and I ran to Nate giving him my best explanation for the scene he witnessed. I could tell Nate was not happy even with my explanation which I didn't blame him. His arm went around my shoulders leading me away from Cade with awkward silence filling the air. I kept glancing at him waiting for a remark. When he didnt say anything I grew even more anxious starting what was bound to happen myself,"Tell me whats going through your mind?"He gave me a look of uneasiness as we rounded the corner entering the library," noting," he spoke with a solem voice.

You could say I was a bit aggravated," Come on Nate tell me. Obviously there's something."

He then snapped at me removing his arm facing me," Skylin I don't know what you want me to tell you." He paused looking at the ground then back into my eyes where the hurt was bare,"how am I suppose to react when I see you in another guys arms? Not just any guy but Cade's?" His voice filled with hurt,"Gosh Skylin it was Cades arms. Cade the one everyone thinks your cheating on me with!" I grabbed his hand," Nate that's everyone else's opinion that doesn't matter."
He grabbed my other hand starring into my eyes,"I don't care if other people think that it's just..... I'm trying so hard Skylin," he looked vulnerable," but I'm starting to think it myself."
My insides collapsed, I felt as if I were drowning, drowning in anger. The bell sounded signaling lunch and with that I slapped him across the face. I knew he was shocked as my hand went to his face but I didn't say a word. I even surprised myself but In that moment my memory instantly took me to my tenth birthday party. A boy a couple years older than me was staring down at me making fun of me he kept yelling," You like him! You like him!" I was so mad I kept screaming,"Stop!" Continuously checking to make sure his little brother wasn't around. He at last hushed," Don't worry Skylin you'll choose him in the end." I was so outraged I slapped him as he tried winking at me. I had never slapped a boy before than but it seems as if it was practice for now.

After I slapped Nate I froze I couldn't believe I had just hit him. I got so mad he was accusing me of cheating on him when The only contact i had with him around Nate was drama class. I didn't know what to say or justify my action so i ran. Half of me hoped Nate would run after me and forget what happened but he didn't. I ran to my car and started driving i kept driving till i found the one place that reminded me of my parents.

Forty-five minutes later I got out of the car breathing in the fresh lake water smell. I found the picnic table my parents carved their name into the day they meant. They had brought me here many times always sitting at the same table. It was theirs that then became ours. We spent countless hours here swimming talking and laughing. The memories brought tears to my eyes, I missed them so much. I haven't been back since they passed but I needed them today. I had so many questions I needed to ask them I wanted to know where i belonged and what I should do about Cade. I wanted to be a mate to someone but with Cade it felt so wrong but so right. Some days I felt like we could work and others I just wished to be human. Those couple weeks Cade hadn't talked to me  made me feel inferior as if I had done something to deserve this messed up situation. Every time i started to hate Cade for our messy connection he surprised me. One morning breakfast was made with a note that wrote:
Hope these pancakes are as sweet as you
He hadn't left his name however addy told me it was his writing. Another night I had came home late from a date and there were flowers with a note that said:
I hope these make you smile.