The Perks of Being a Freak (Editing)

25. Free Of Cages

Wind whistled in my ears, forcing my eyes shut and my hair back. I could hear the others screaming, a symphony of terror. The ground was coming closer and closer, faster and faster.

An object free-falling will accelerate at 9.8 meters per second^2 until it reaches terminal velocity, which for a human being is around seven-hundred miles per hour.Every second I fell, I got faster and faster, hurtling towards the earth like a shooting star.

Stop, Lia! Rajeev sounded like the embodiment of panic. When would he learn to just calm down?

What are you doing?! Benny sounded less panicked, almost as if he trusted me. That was nice. Trust. So rare nowadays. Benny might trust me, but I couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t trust anyone, could I? Because, somehow, trusting someone had gotten me trapped in the dark.

You idiot! Tony howled. What the fuck is wrong with you?! Tony was always so angry with me. I wonder why? What did I ever do to him? Before we woke up in the Dark Room, I had never said more than a few sentences to him.

Fly, birdy, Emily giggled. Don’t worry, Em, I thought. I plan to do just that.

Three hundred feet, and I twisted on my back to watch the stars grow even further away. I loved the feeling of falling. I had always loved roller coasters, even though it was hard to bear the heights.

I didn’t mind the heights now.

I turned back over, falling chest first. I could see the skyscrapers of Boston spearing the sky close by. The entire city was illuminated, glowing and shimmering in the dark like a beacon. My heart felt too big and warm for my chest. The happiness was so huge that it hurt me.

Two hundred feet, and I was close to being bored. The ground just wasn’t coming fast enough, and the others were still screaming in fear (Rajeev) and anger (Tony). I didn’t like the yelling. Maybe they would figure that out soon, along with the fact that I wouldn’t do something stupid just for the sake of being stupid.

One hundred feet, and I was grinning.

Seventy-five feet, and my wings were opening.

Fifty feet, and I was angling out of the dive.

Twenty-five feet, and I was flying parallel to the street, ducking and diving between telephone lines and buildings. The weightlessness was back, accompanied by a never-ending freedom that filled me from head to toe with euphoria.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Tony was back, just as angry as before. This time, he also sounded jealous.

Absolutely nothing, I told him. I’m sick of living in a cage. I’m sick of being trapped in my attic, Tony. I want to be free.

You could have killed all of us, he replied sharply. 

But I didn’t, I insisted. I knew what I was doing.

How? Tony’s voice had never been sharper. It made me want to hide away. You get wings and suddenly you know how to fly? 

I… I guess it’s just instinct. How could I explain it to them? How could they understand? I tried to show them my dreams, the dreams I had had since I was a child. Lost in the clouds, high in the sky. Dreams of wings, of freedom.

A little girl staring out the windows of an attic, trapped. A bird in a cage.

Oh yeah, and it was instinct that made you jump off of that roof, Tony snarled.

Why are you on my case about this? I screeched, landing awkwardly on top of the John Hancock tower.

You were reckless, Lia, Benny said calmly. You have to admit that you were stupid about this.

What’s stupid about trying to be free? I hissed. What’s reckless about trying something new? 

You could have hurt yourself, and us by extension, Rajeev said. Even he sounded a little P.Oed.

But I didn’t, I said, dropping off of the building and snapping open the tawny feathers. Alls well that ends well.

You weren’t thinking clearly, Benny said.

No, Benny. I growled, perching on top of a telephone pole. For the first time I was thinking clearly. I stopped being afraid. Alright? I finally feel free, after so many years. I wasn’t being dumb, or stupid, or reckless. I was being me.

Well you is an idiot, Tony growled.

Me Tony. Me speak well, I shot back.

Shut up, Lia. You need to figure out that you won’t survive every time you jump off of a building.

Shut your fucking mouth. I had never been this angry. I was close to tears. Don’t you think I know that?! I got cut open, Tony. They cut me open and took me apart and put me together wrong. I know better than anyone that the world isn’t perfect. But I don’t let that stop me from trying to have fun, and trying to live. We may all be freaks, but I’m not the stupid one. I’m the only one who isn’t letting our freakishness hold us back from life.

And then I shut them out.