'All My Love'

Abigail

Dear Louis,

I love you so much!

I'm sorry, I couldn't give you the baby.

I'm so sorry, I know how much you wanted to have this baby and I know how much you wanted to be a father. I know you would have been the most amazing father. You are so fantastic with kids.

I wish you could have seen the ultrasounds. I wish you could have seen the baby. Your heart would have melted.
When I heard them say "I'm so sorry, we can't find a heart beat." My heart broke. It was in so much pain. I couldn't tell anyone and I kept it to my self for a day beforeI told my best friend, which by the way nearly broke me even more. I didn't eat, I couldn't sleep and I cried all day. It was the worst 24 hours of my life. But Louis I couldn't tell you, I knew you brought those body suits and you were so happy. But I knew after I called you and told you. You'd be so upset and you'd want to come home and I couldn't let you.

I can't believe you came and spent 4 days with me! Oh my goodness I love you so much.
It broke me when you came home and you were instantly in tears when you looked at me. My heart broke into thousands of tiny pieces.

You are the most amazing person ever. I can't believe you gave up 4 days of your tour to come home to be with me. Seriously, you should have stayed with the boys. I would've been fine.

But I know you wouldn't have been. Even though you try and act tough. You are the softest, sweetest person I've ever lied eyes on and I can't believe your real sometimes. I can't believe your my fiancé. I can't believe you choose me. You needed my comfort more than you like to admit. But I don't care. I got to see you and I got to hug, kiss and cuddle you in our bed. It was so nice to have you back. Even though you weren't gone very long.

It felt like a lifetime. Even now you left 9 hours ago and I already feel so alone, so empty. I don't know why I'm telling you this but every time you walk out the front door, my heart leaves with you. You know I love you so much, your my sunshine, your my Prince Charming, your the flowers , your the winter air, your the spring freshness and your my one and only. I'd love to show and express how much I care and love you however there is nothing on the I earth big enough or deep enough to show you just how much.

Even though your on tour and we've just lost our precious Angel. I need you to be strong, happy and most importantly I need you!

I love you, I can't wait to call you my husband.

I hope one day, we can have a healthy and happy baby.One day when I'm ready to try again and your ready. I hope we can have some goodluck in the future.

Love you Forever always. Xox

Your Abi. Xox :)