Au Revoir

13

All I see is white. 

It's all blurry too. 

I just lie trying to focus on where I am for the next however many minutes until I start to see fuzzy outlines.  It looks like I'm in a bedroom. 

When my vision gets to the point where I can actually make out objects I start lifting my head.  Half a second didn't even pass before I had to put my head back down.  My neck and head were throbbing, and when my body automatically started curling up from the pain it got worse.  I was almost paralyzed from the pain, but it didn't stop.  Actually it kept getting worse.

After ten minutes I started to tear up from it.  Is this normal?  What was wrong?

I wanted to know what was going on, but I couldn't move or hardly see.  That started to set in and my chest tightened.

What if I've been abducted?

My hands started shaking.

Does anyone know I'm here?

Nausea set in.

Wait a minute.. who's anyone?

Do I have family or friends?

If I do, are they worried?

Quickly my stomach flipped and I rolled over to throw up.  My breathing started speeding up and wouldn't stop.  What's going on?

This was probably a sight to see.  Girl almost falling off her bed while choking, throwing up, crying, and shaking.  That's when I heard someone coming up the steps.  I couldn't stop my breathing because I didn't know whether to be scared or happy.

A woman slammed the door open with a look of pure rage.  She lifted a hand almost as if she was going to hit me.  I flinch back and raise my hands in defense.  Although I didn't know her my body was saying to me she wasn't nice.

"Pleasee no.  I.. I'm inn painn.."  Wow my voice was weird at the moment.

"Well you can't skip school you spoiled brat, so get up before I make you."  With the she just stomped out.  Well then.

I figured I should probably do what she says since I didn't need anymore pain.  The thing was how do I get ready when I can't move and am possibly going through a panic attack.

First I should try to calm down.  Bit by bit I got my breathing under control by closing my eyes and trying to picture soothing visuals in my head.  When I started getting calmer I opened my eyes again.  Now for getting out of bed.  My whole body was still shaking, and my head/neck was still in extreme pain. 

A neck brace was what I figured I needed, so I carefully pulled myself on the floor and looked for a place that would contain clothes.  I slowly crawled towards the closet I spotted through my messed up hair.  When I got over to the closet I grabbed wall and tried pulling myself up to stand.  

It was a challenge, but I managed to do it.  After ten minutes I had gotten a long sleeve shirt on and a scarf that held my neck up.  As a plus it covered the bruising and swelling of my neck.  The pain was still excruciating, but I didn't know if there was anything else I could do at the moment.    I keep the leggings I had on since I couldn't be bothered, and decided to walk outside the room I woke up in.  The wall was supporting me the whole time but I made it. 

I heard the toilet flush and that woman walk out.  She saw me and shouted which made my head throb some more.

"What are you still doing here?  Get the fuck to school."  The woman grabbed my shoulder, a backpack, and started for the steps.  For some reason this gave me deja vu, but before I could think about it she shoved me out the front door.  Since I had no clue where I was going I just made the stupid decision of walking where it felt familiar.