Au Revoir

10

I start to awaken by a sudden loud noise. When I look to see what it is I see it's Alex getting out of bed. My arms automatically go up to rub my eyes, so I can read the time on my phone. After grabbing and turning my phone on I see it's one in the morning.

I groan and fall back into bed.

"Oh I'm sorry for waking you up. I tried to be sneaky." Alex whispers extremely quiet. I start slowly dozing off again.

"It's fine. I'm a pretty light sleeper. Where are you going so early?" I manage to grumble out.

"My dad called and started yelling that I needed to get home, sorry."

"I said it's fine." I peek my eyes open and see he's staring at the floor. That's what he usually does when he feels bad.

I roll over and kneel on my bed to be face to face with him. He glances up to make eye contact with me. Wanting to at least try to help, even in my drowsy state, my arms wrap around him, and I put my head on his shoulder.

"Don't let him get to you, okay? You are great, and help me through a lot though you might not realize it." After I say that he hugs me back.

"Tu es mon tout, mon amour." He whispers in my ear before letting go to leave. We exchange goodbyes, and before I knew it he was gone. I didn't want him to leave. It was too soon. That's when I got light headed almost causing me to fall over.

"Better get to bed." I quietly say to myself while leaning back so I would fall into my pillows. Not even two seconds later I fell asleep.

--

My alarm wakes me up. After turning it off I realize the weight I fell asleep to last night wasn't beside me. I wonder why and when he left..

I do my morning routine for school then walk downstairs to actually get breakfast because I feel halfway decent.  It just so happens that I didn't see my mom this morning which was good I guess.

I slowly make my way to school while listening to one song on repeat that I've had stuck in my head for two days. It was Lovely by Billie Eilish and Khalid. When I reach the school grounds I was so lost in thought I didn't notice Phil walking next to me until he tapped my shoulder. I jumped.

"Ohmygod! Oh.. it's you Phil. You scared me." I chuckle at the end hopefully making it not awkward.

"Oops sorry. I said your name three times though in my defense." We continue the 'catch-up banter' until we have to part ways to get to our lockers.

"It was good talking. Text me once and a while." I say while waving goodbye and continuing the journey to my locker. I reach it and start entering my combination, but quickly my head it rammed into my locker door.

I heard a distorted male voice scream freak at me then others laugh. By now this was normal, but what happened next wasn't. A familiar voice started shouting back.

"Hey why don't you leave her alone or I'll use a fucking mammogram machine on your testicles." When my vision is no longer blurred I looked to see who said that, and it was Becky. We make eye contact, and she walks towards me.

She looks at my eyes and forehead before talking.

"Your pupils aren't dilated meaning you mostly likely don't have a concussion, but I would still rest since you are gonna have a bruise on your forehead. No reciting vines or bingeing Supernatural for more than an hour." I laugh at her comment and nod my head.

"Yeah I'll keep that to a minimum tonight." After she asked if I felt completely okay she continued to walk to wherever she was going, and I opened my locker to finally get my stuff.

The day slowly continued on until global studies which consisted of taking a test. For no reason it seemed to just keep going on and on. When I was done I turned it in, went back to my seat, and grabbed my notebook. For some odd reason I just felt like writing poetry even though I can't write it to save my life.

I slowly wrote until the teacher told us to start packing up because there was only two minutes left. I put down my pencil and actually read through the poem I wrote to judge how good it was.

As I sit here and wonder,
about time and space,
I begin to forget something,
and that would be pace.

Pace. Pace. Pace.
How is it that
my mind is moving a mile a minute,
but the hand on the clock stays where it's at?

Wait. Wait. Wait.
How are you?
When will we meet today?
Two? Oh, but that won't do.

Even though that room
haunts me to my core,
I need to see you
so my life isn't a bore.

A bore? No.
More like shattered.
You make me feel alive,
instead of life making me tattered.

Why though?
Why does everyone know "the one",
while I do wrong,
and feel like I haven't won't.

You are talented and gifted.
I am not half as much as you,
so I don't deserve you.
What am I going to do?

Time. Time. Time.
I do nothing as it goes by,
but this wouldn't work anyways ,
so why even try?

I'm not sure at this point,
but I can't yet bring myself
to finally say
Goodbye.

"So who's the lucky person?" The voice snaps me from the poem. I scramble to hide the poem before anyone else sees. Luckily it was only Dan, and I trust him enough to know he won't tell anyone.

"Uh.. I have no clue what you mean." I say putting the poem behind my back. Dan gives a smirk.

"I think you know exactly what I mean by the blush forming on your face. Aw, Jess has a crush." I pout as I gather my things because why should I fight it when I know he's right anyways.

"So, are you going to tell me or will I have to stalk you till I find out, and don't doubt me on the stalking part because I literally will." The bell rings and from the corner of my eye I see him grab his backpack and stand. I do the same and walk out with him. We debate about me telling who my crush is for a couple minutes, but then I just give in.

"Well I trust you enough to know this I guess... it's Alex." I look down at my shoes I guess because I was expecting a negative response, but that's not what Dan gave.

"Really? Yes! Oh my god you don't know how much I've been shipping you guys. I mean Phil is getting sick of me talking about it. I should get you guys together. Yay!" Dan hugs me which made me smile, but then the last part got me freaked out.

"No no no no no no don't try that. He doesn't feel the same way, he would just flat out reject me." My reasonings didn't get through to him and he borderline skipped to class still swooning over my crush. Oh boy...

I walk into French class and see the red haired male sitting in his regular spot.

"Hey Alexander." He doesn't like being called by his full name, but I do it sometimes to annoy him.

"Hey Jessie." He replies looking up from his book.

"Hey when did you leave this morning?" I ask since it had been bugging me all day.

"I left at about one, don't you remember?" The look of his face shows he's pretty confused.

"Why would I remember? I was sleeping." I answer while getting my stuff reading for class when it starts.

"Nevermind." He says, and right as he does the eighth hour bell rings for class to start.

Huh.. well that's weird.