Babehsitter [August Alsina Fanfic]

Chapter [13]

Hey loves! Don't be afraid to leave a comment on you favorite or outrageous parts. Love y'all and enjoy!

Sitting in silence they circled around me on my bed.
"You can't leave Kanani..." Cece said. I stayed quiet not wanting to really say what was on my mind nor in my heart. "Shes right cuzzo you can't leave just because of what happened." Bre said. Looking up at them for once, I spoke the truth "Why not? Why can't I leave if I know I'm going to be miserable?" They stood silent "I...I feel like I'm dying y'all and right now I'm just beyond a state of depression. I can't handle it and I don't want to right now. So why keep me here? Why keep someone who's depressed around?" I sniffled as Kim rubbed my shoulder. "Baby girl we've all been through heart break, but you have to be strong. You can't run."

"So you're telling me I have to stay here and act like everything is ok? I'm just suppose to say fuck my feeling let me stay here for y'all?!" I yelled. "Bruh no ones saying tha-"

"That's what it sounds like!" Taking a deep breath I got up and grabbed my bags. Bre, Aaleeyah and Jada rushed me and grabbed my bags. "You're not leaving bro!" Jada yelled. "Let go of the fucking bags!" I screamed as we tugged back and forth. "You let go!" Aaleeyah said. I was becoming too overwhelmed to the point where I just slammed the bag on the floor. "WHY?!!" I shrieked as I fell to my knees. "Why do I have to be tortured? Why can't I be happy for once in my life? I deserve happiness, but the joke is always played on me." Kneeling there in my tears I let each drop fall onto my lap. "I...I gave him my innocence, I gave him my heart and soul, but in the end he chose her. Am I not good enough? I've been beat on and used, but out of everything this hurt the most because I'm truly and honestly still in love with him." No one spoke and the fighting stopped. Honestly all anyone could do was group hug. They knew all I've been through with my past and they saw something in me that hasn't been there in a long time.

Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster and I didn't know how to act or what to say to Kanani when I saw her today. My niggas and I were walking down the hallway to go meet the girls.

"How's it go with Kay?" Trey asked me. I kissed my teeth and said "Just as I expected it to go. She cried and was upset with me."

"What did you expect nigga?! You hurt my sis and expect things to be all cool." Keenon spat. I looked at this nigga sideways before saying "Sis? Since when did y'all become so close? I thought you ain't like her like that?" He chuckled and walked away like I wasn't talking to his ass. I looked at my niggas and they averted their eyes.

Something went down with them and nobody telling me.

We arrived at the restaurant and as I figured Kanani wasn't with the girls. I'm not gonna think too much of it because I know she probably just didn't want to see me after what happened.

"I think imma get the deluxe bacon burger." Bree said. Chris looked at her and she stared back "Yea I'm fat, problem?" He smiled at her "Nahh I like a little cushion for the pushing." He said as he grabbed a handful of her cheeks. She slaps his hands away, but he just puts it back. They laugh and I just shake my head. I remember when Kanani and me use to be like that. I catch myself thinking about her again before I snapped myself out of it.

Finishing our food we start to head towards the board walk. "Where's Kanani ?" I found myself asking. I couldn't go on any longer without knowing where she was at or how she was doing. The girls looked at eachother before Aaliyah said "She left, she went back home." The air was thick, but Keenon decided to speak up. "Damn forreal? Atleast we'll see her back in LA." Cece cleared her throat and spoke up "No, she went back home as In New York,New York, she's not coming back to LA again."

It was like I entered the twilight zone as my body did a U turn straight to the hotel. Bussing through her hotel room door I began pulling drawls out and throwing them in the floor. Everything was missing and I began to pace furiously as I mangled my hair. She was really gone and they let her leave. Walking into the living room I began yelling "Why the fuck did y'all let ha leave for?" Bree looked at me side way as she mushed my face. "Because of you! We let her go because you wanted to make bad decisions and hurt her once again. Did you really expect her to stay here and endure you acting like you love your bitch?!"

"I do love ha that's why I told Kanani so I wouldn't hurt h-" before I could finish she continued. "Bullshit! If you loved her so much why are you here worrying about my cousin? Stressing over my cousin? Crying over my cousin? Why?" She asked. I sat on the armchair contemplating. Why am I doing all of this is I'm content with the relationship I'm in? I'm so afraid to tell Kanani how I really feel about her. I find her so fascinating and beautiful. She's one of a kind and as much as I try to not fuck things up between us I constantly make mistake man. FUCK! I'm in love with her but I chose wrong.

"You chose wrong and you know it." She said. I shook my head "No I didn't" I lied. Chris chimed in and said "Yea you did bro, now I know I'm the last nigga to talk about love and respect, but forreal forreal Kanani was good for you. You just pussy."

"I ain't pussy watch ya mouth." I said. "Shut the Fuck up because you are, if you weren't you wouldn't be so hurt. Over something you know you've done wrong." I say there silently for awhile "I know, I'm just scared of hurting ha more than what I already did. I love her and I don't want her to be with someone as toxic as me." I knew before I make any moves I'll have to man up and do what God called me to do.

Heyyy again! I do apologize for the lateness, I would like to explain to you guys what been going on. I've been working but just quit, I got into my dream college and I'll be doing films. The bad part is that my cousin, her daughter and a friend was uhm oh gosh I hate saying it..... to just skip over it may they Rest In Peace and May the bastard boyfriend rot in hell.  Uhm to lighten the mood, I want to have atleast one of you apart of this series. If you'd like to be in this book and have s person that you want to portray you feel free to inbox me with all the info and you'll be in the next chapter.