Driven (BIGBANG)

Chapter Nine: Listening

POV: TOP

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

I had already made my mind up not to listen anymore. It was best to block out everything with my aggravated state. But that was until Ri decided to mess up everyone's image with his consistent, yet terrible, word vomit. "They obsess but I just can't get into it."

I involuntarily groan with the others, and it appears his face darkens by a shade of red. It's obvious we aren't helping him feel more confident, but him messing up is inevitable. I wish I could think of something, even a simple joke, to boost his esteem. The rate at which his skin is changing color is an indication that before he is halfway through, his interview will become a bumbling train wreck.

"Obsess?" Chanyuk repeats the word in question. It's more like a statement, that requires an explanation, and that makes it as good as a question.

"I don't mean obsess. They're dedicated to shows." He's floundering while trying to save us. He emphasizes dedicated to show how loyal we are. The sentiment is sweet but the delivery is poorly timed. It shows to be what it is - a coverup for his mistake. He chuckles in agitation.

Jijong laughs along with him - trying to help him as well. He's obviously trying to lighten the mood and he's a better actor than I ever gave him credit for. Still, it bothers me how he attaches himself to Ri's sinking life boat. I don't know why it aggravates me so much but at the moment all that remains in my mind is, 'He should be able to help himself. Leave him be.'

"Well, yeah we all have our small pleasures of life." Jijong says expertly. His attempt to hide Ri's blunder is a lot better placed and I feel tension begin to fade from the other two. I will admit that his ability to calm the group adds to his qualities of being a leader but I believe his "small pleasures" are out of priority. Like his small pleasure of his is caring more about a chick than his career.

"True." Kimi notes. She turns her attention back to Ri however. "What do you like to do? If their thing is TV shows, then what is yours?"

Jijong starts up again. He always attempts to speak for Ri in his behalf - which is slightly endearing but mostly rude. He's an overbearing hen that is afraid a already grown chick will hurt itself. Still refusing to let the fledging learn on it's own. "I think it'd probably be video games."

Ri nods on agreement. "I spend a lot of time playing games. When I'm not trying to better myself for BigBang, that's usually what I'm doing." He laughs, a hand reaching up to scratch his neck. It's almost humorous how much time he plays games, and I believe it only worsens his under eye bags. He disagrees, but it's only because he doesn't want the crazy over bearing hen to keep him away from his happiness.

"Does anyone play with you?" Kimi asks. It would be rude if we didn't play with him, but not quite so unexpected. The maknae doesn't get many privileges so us refusing to play... Well, he'd have to accept it. But he can typically beg one of us into spending a few hours with him.

"Uh yeah, they all have but G does the most and I'd say Dae is the worst." He grins while teasing Dae. Honestly, I would peg myself as the worst player because I've only played a handful of times. Ever.

"It's not one of my favorite things to do!" Dae defends himself.

"We know that," G says soothingly. I don't know why - it's not like they were actually fighting. Why did he always have to try to take control - even though he's the leader it's not like he really has to do that. Overprotective hen.

"Who are you awkward around in the group?" Chanyuk, the other host, asks. We all have one person we don't quite click with - me and Jijong, more so than any others.

"Uhm, I would say Daesung." Ri places his words carefully. "But only alone." He adds the last part quickly. I don't know why it bothers me that he doesn't like to be alone with Dae because he's really funny and comfortable around everyone. But I chalk it up to the fact that they don't spend enough time together alone.

"Why?" The host inquires.

"I think--"

G starts answering again. And in that moment, something in me snaps. "Does it matter what you think?" I cut him off and pause after my question, which Taeyang and Dae laugh at nervously. They try to blow it off as a joke for the sake of the show. But I can't stop. I can't pretend that I was being faux rude in benefit for satire.

"She didn't ask you, did she? She was asking Ri which means it's Ri's place to answer. It's not your turn. You need to learn patience.

"Maybe if you were to learn patience, you'd realize that your date with Dara isn't all important. Maybe you'd realize this was more important and you wouldn't be trying to rush Ri."

Every word I say is edged, every letter jagged. I hope it stings, which I realize is unbecoming to be so hate filled. I can't stand to sit here anymore, him being so self-righteous of us needing to work harder for the group and he should be working the hardest. He's the leader after all.

I stand up, partially shaking. "I'm sorry, Ri." I say it quietly, but yet I get no response. It's obvious they are all too shocked to speak. But then as I turn to go, I hear him softly. "TOP... Wait."

I can picture it. If I turn around, he'll be leaning over to me with a hand outstretched. His eyes will be opened wide and his lips slightly parted. Ready to say something to make it better. Despite knowing this, I don't move towards him because - at the moment - I don't want to listen.

So I leave.