Back from the Dead

Chapter 13- Floating Feathers, Sinking Feelings

As I predicted, Carina was ballistic. Apparently, my disappearance was inconsiderate and gave her a heart attack. Walking into the room, I could barely see past all the floating feathers that seemed to be coming out of the pillows. By the time all of the feathers had set, I barely had time to register to horrible state of Carina and I's hotel room before I was spun around.

"Where the hell have you been? You said you were going to bed!" A crazy looking Carina screeched at me. "And that was hours ago! Do you know what I've been going through? You're lucky you came in when you did! I was about to go wake up the boys to find you! Who knows what we would ha-"

I interrupted her. "Carina. I'm here now. I'm going to bed. I'm tired."

"Oh! So now you're tired? Why weren't you tired enough before when you said you would be here?" Carina continued her screeching.

I didn't respond. I felt as though I should feel something: shame, anger or maybe even sadness. But I felt nothing. All my mind was filled with was Alex, Joe and John looking at me with their dead eyes. But that wasn't the only thing bugging me- it was the undertone of betrayal in their eyes. The more I focused on them, the more I saw betrayal. What more could I have done to save them?

It's not your fault, it's not your fault.

But it is.

Alex, Joe and John. The first people I could actually consider my family and I let them die. In front of me. How is it not my fault?

"Why aren't you listening to me?" Carina interrupted my thought process.

Again, I didn't respond. I looked at my hands and realized they were shaking again. I tried to stop them by sitting on them. I don't know when or how I ended up on my bed in my pajamas but I was. My actions were robotic, acting on routine.

Carina continued her rant. "You are so selfish. There is no way I'm getting the security deposit back on this room. Look at it! It's completely destroyed!"

"How is that my fault?" I said in bored tone.

"I had to look for you." She hissed.

I kept my face effortlessly stoic. "So naturally the pillowcases are the first place you look."

Carina looked at me unamused. "You have to stop you know."

Stop what? Why did she suddenly stop yelling?

My face must have shown my confusion because she furthered her explanation. "Fighting. You've done it since the night before we left."

"How did you know?" I asked tonelessly. And here I was thinking she was completely oblivious.

"I'm not oblivious." Was she a mind reader? "I know you're stressed out. I always just thought that you were an idiot but now that I know that you are. I wish you would have told me though. Keeping things bottled up inside of you isn't good. Neither is lying. Lying is bad Dannie. Bad. Like... the lie you told Blake. Tell him the truth. Anyway, getting back on topic, you had a hard life, you thought needed to fight. It gave you some sort of release... I forget what type. But I swear it is a thing. I researched it! But please, stop. You have people with you. You're not alone anymore."

Typical Carina. Her train of thought and change in emotions over a five minute period are completely mind boggling.

The door banged open and three dark figures ran into the room. Adrenaline kicked into my system. I jumped of the bed a pinned the first figure against the wall by their neck.

"What the fuck?" A very disgruntled Mark choked out.

"Dannie! Let him go!" Carina said as she pulled me off of Mark.