The Darkest Relations

Twenty

20

"I understand if you want to leave." I told Trey, after having just poured out my heart to him and explained that I was pregnant with another man's child. "I'm sorry." I had just got done telling August about the baby and felt that now as the time to inform Trey about it to. Give him the same choice that I gave August all those years ago. He had ever right to stay or leave. However, unlike August he stayed. He stayed. "I know this may sound crazy but I love you Adira. I'm in love with you. I'll be there every step of the way, raise this kid as my own, put my name on the birth certificate. I promise you there's no reason for the child to ever believe I'm not their real father because I'll never treat them like I'm not. Even if things don't work out between the two of us I will be there for you, both of you. I will hold the both of you when we cry, change the diapers when your exhausted, attend every doctor's appointment and hold you hand each step of the way. Just say the word baby girl. Just say the word."

That was 3 months ago.

For the past three months he stood by my side. Was there with me every step of the way. Every doctor appointment, every mommy and me class, everything I needed he provided. He made my pregnancy a breeze because he was so amazing, Trey was perfect. He was tall, handsome, caring, smart, everything was perfect. He was a complete opposite of August's drug dealing, cheating, lying self. He was an attorney, had a real job that paid great and with the two of our attorney checks together we would never have to struggle. He told me everyday that I didn't have to work. That I could just stay at home and raise the baby, our baby. He always said our baby, always told me that he would be the best father he could be and would treat that child as his own. How many men do you know that would do that? Everything about Trey screamed marry me, he was perfect. Yet, he wasn't August, and for that reason I could not bring myself to fully commit.

The two of us were currently walking hand and hand out of the Doctor's office. I was now 22 weeks and while most women would have known the gender of their child by now I was not so lucky, my little Angel wanted to fight me and would refused to reveal themselves. I was hoping that this would be the appointment that would finally give me the answer I'd be yearning more but once again I had no luck. Just another disappointment.

"I think not knowing the gender is kinda exciting, it'll be a big surprise when they do come." Trey said, he could tell that I was upset that I couldn't know what I was having. I had just waited so long to have a child and thought I'd be able to do the big gender reveal party and buy little cute matching outfits, I really wanted a girl. A little mini me that would love me unconditionally.

"I know. It would just be nice to know is all but it's-" before I was able to get the rest of the sentence out I was cut off by a women bumping into me, knocking the picture of the sonogram right out of my hands, before I was able to go off on the mystery person I was once again cut off, this time because I was at a lost for words.

"Adira?" The voice spoke in a questioning tone. A voice that I had known all to well. I turned around to be greeted by a face that I haven't seen in nearly two years.

"Mom?" I asked. A part of me wanted to go off on her, tell her all the things I wanted to tell her all those years ago. Tell her how fucked up she was and how much I hated her. Yet, the other part of me , the part with the huge heart, just wanted to hug her, tell her I missed her, gossip about all the things that she had missed over the past two years. Both decisions was were taken off the table when my eyes gazed down, down to the stroller that she was controlling. Inside laid a sleeping toddler girl. My mother must've seen my amazement because her next words explained what I was seeing.

"This is my daughter." Her daughter. With those simple words, just two basic words all of the memories of everything she did to me came rushing back into my head, the party, that awful party. The tears that I shed to her about King when all along she was the reason for them. How the two most important people in my life just turned around and stabbed me in my back. How from that day things have gotten worse and worse for me and now after all the pain, all the heartbreak I suffered at the hand of my mother, and how she was the reason I was going to be the best mother I could ever be. "I see you're having a baby too." she pointed towards my belly that was now beginning to show. "You know I think we should get lunch, catch up, there's so much I want to talk to you about." This took me out of my daze. Took me out of all those feelings of sorrow and replaced them with fury, and hate once again, just like that.