The Sun Is Also A Star - Maybe One Day

9 | Natasha

Waking up in Daniel's guest room, I realize that it has been a very long time since I have felt so good. Last night was the first night since mom's death that I haven't cried myself to sleep. And this morning, well... I guess it was a good idea to go away from home for a while. This will be a welcomed change of ideas and a fresh start.

I step out of bed and lazily walk to the bathroom, planing on a long, steaming shower to complete my happiness.

Sighing, I let the water burn my skin, washing away all my worries. For a moment, my thoughts go back to Jamaica, where I left my family that I so dearly love and that needs me now than ever. But this time, I need to think about myself first. Before my good mood turns to regret and culpability, I force myself to think about something good. Immediately, my thoughts go to...

Daniel.

Where to start ? Even if there's still a lot to learn about him, I feel he hasn't changed that much. I appreciate his company. I remember what I told him yesterday, about Ben. Maybe I should clarify that I never had the intention of living with him. I guess I dated him because I needed the security and confidence he offered me. I feel like yesterday was so long ago. I feel like I'm a whole new person, in a whole new world. I also remember the doubts and fears I had, back then on the plane. Even if most of them are gone, a question is still nagging at me. 

Do I love him ?

My head is convinced that yes, that he was the one all along, that it had always been him. I want it to be him. "Listen to your heart," said my mother. What is my heart saying ? I turn off the shower and stand still, as if silence would help me hear it. But as much as I concentrate, I can't feel anything. My heart is silent, like it has always been. 

Confused and troubled, I step out of the shower, wrap a towel around me and dry my hair. I guess I have never really listened to my heart. Even on that day with Daniel, my heart had spoken without me having to listen to it. 

***

I come out of the bathroom dressed and ready to do whatever Daniel wants to do today. I find him pacing in the living room, shouting.

"WHAT ? Oh no, Charlie, you can't do that ! No, no, no, no ! But I thought I told you I'm not bringing anyone ! ... Yes... No !... But... ! Oh, wait, actually, it's perfect ! Yeah, never mind... Okay...  Yeah, right... See you tomorrow. Bye." 

As I come in the living room, Daniel is putting his phone in his pocket and smiling mockingly. I'm immediately on my guards. Daniel sees me and his smile widens, which makes me even more wary. What is this boy planing ?

"Hello, Natasha. Did you sleep well ?"

"Very, thanks. And you ?"

"Nah. But it okay, I'm fit and ready. Want something to eat ?" He asks me, gesturing to the kitchen.

"I wouldn't mind some coffee, I answer while following him to the dinning table. Tell me Daniel, for what are you ready ?"

He doesn't answer, but continues smiling. He makes coffee and hands it to me. I sip it quietly, looking at him buttering toast over the rim of my bowl and enjoying the warmth of it under my palms. Finally, I give in to my curiosity and ask him casually :

"So.. what was the phone call about ? Didn't seem to like it."

"True, he admits. It was my brother. He took revenge by commanding me to bring a girl with."

"Really ? Well who is it ?"

He again doesn't answer, but instead asks :

"Are you done with your coffee ?"

"Yes.."

"Well then come on, we only have a few hours to find your dress !" He says, grabbing his bread and the keys and opening the front door without a look back.

Surprised, I take a few seconds to realize what he means. Then it all clicks together and I run after him, shouting :

"What ? Daniel, wait !"

But he's already out the door, heading downtown with his toast in his mouth. The situation makes me laugh and I'm grateful for the change of events. It seems to me that attending a wedding with Daniel is the best possible thing to finally listen to my heart.