Mute (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 4

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*Leo's POV*

I still couldn't figure it out. I read over and over, trying to figure out what might have caused my actions at school today, but nothing came to mind. Rolling over in bed and glancing at my alarm clock, I sighed in frustration as I read the time then threw my notebook to the ground and rolled back over. I wasn't sure why this bothered me so much. As it was, I didn't think it would bother other people this much, so why did it affect me so much?

Throwing the idea aside for what felt like the millionth time that night, I figured I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight so I decided to pick up a book and start reading. Though I had read this book quite a number of times, I still found my heart racing each time a romance scene showed up.

I really envied the way people were able to write things out like this. I had tried writing before, thinking that with as many books as I have read that I might be pretty good at it, but I couldn't have been more wrong. In a way, it was a good thing, though. It only served to make the books I read that much better. Even now, as the words flowed pictures before my eyes, I couldn't help but feel jealous of their abilities verses mine.

Hearing my alarm go off with its repetitive beeping, I reached over and turned it off before the sound could get stuck in my mind and give me a headache. Getting up from bed and pulling out the clothes I had planned on wearing today, I headed for the shower then got undressed. Turning on only the cold and stepping into the water, I used the freezing liquid to keep me awake and focused to make sure I wouldn't pass out.

Though I was beyond tired I knew it was my fault for staying up so late and letting what happened the day before get to me so much. I had acted out of character, and I needed to accept that and move on.

After washing down and stepping out of the shower, I dried off my body and walked back to my room with just the towel around me like I usually do then grabbed the clothes I had set on my bed just moments ago. Lifting up and admiring my favorite band shirt, I started putting it on but stopped about half way when I had a hard time fitting into it.

A mixture of happiness and sorrow started to flow through me as I set the clothing down on my bed and stared at it. I liked that my muscles were getting bigger and it was showing more and more, but I couldn't help but feel sad that it no longer fit. My mother had given me that on the day I got my first A in Science. I couldn't have been more proud of myself, and this shirt was a way I reflected on that.

Grabbing out a hanger and putting it in my closet, I grabbed out another random shirt and threw it on then some pants and headed downstairs to grab some breakfast. Walking into the kitchen and taking a seat at the table I grabbed some of the eggs mom had made and started to eat.

"What's wrong kiddo?"

Looking up from the food sat in front of me, I debated on if I should tell her the real reason I was upset. I didn't want to seem petty or pathetic getting bothered by something so trivial, but I didn't want to lie to her either.

"You know the shirt you got me for my A in Science class?"

"Of course I do, hon."

"It doesn't fit me anymore..."

Even saying it now I couldn't help but feel lame. I knew it wasn't going to fit me forever but there was still a part of me that hoped it would. It really meant a lot to me and now that I thought about it, I really understood. It was a sign I was growing up. I know it's a normal thing and all, but I still hadn't done some of the things I thought I would before I turned eighteen.

"Honey, we can get you another one if you'd like."

"It wouldn't be the same. I think I'm just going to hold on to it...reflect on what it means to me, you know?"