More Than Just A Silly School Girl Crush

Getting Back On My Feet Maybe The Hardest Part

It's been almost a month since I saw Jesse, his mother teaches the class now. I have slowly erased him out of my mind but as I begin to forget, I begin to revert back to my old ways. Studying to much, being lifeless, I even went back to getting drunk at the bar, and sleeping around.

The worse part of it I don't feel any better I feel there's a hole in my heart. My dad once told me that only God can fill your emptiness, but I feel as if God's creating some way to help me through this even though he's taking a long time.

Mom has been going out a lot with Sanders ever since the fight we had she hasn't spoken to me. Charles started to become distant, ever since I gave up on Jesse he hasn't been happily gay, instead he's hiding it. He doesn't talk much and its hard to get a smile from him.

Suzie and I are friends again, but even so were not that close. Michelle and Zach are dating I was confused a little when she told me. Michelle is happier with him so I guess its a win, win situation right?

I walk home today alone well actually I've been walking alone since I broke it off with Jesse I guess that's how life is when you decide to be a bitch of a friend. I decide to walk a different way home, I'm going to go through Jesse's neighborhood.

Winters finally over I can finally see things begin to grow; flowers, trees, animals, just about everything is beginning to develop around here. I can see the sun too and wear just sweaters its nice. Maybe I'll grow too well maybe.

I arrive in front of Jesse's house it was sad to see and I couldn't take it anymore. I kneeled on the ground of Jesse's front yard my face falling into my hands. Tears falling down both of my cheeks and a scarred heart that wouldn't be healed.

After I cried I did what most people would do, I would try to comfort myself the best way I could. Going to the bar and feel the warmth of someone else. I headed to the bar and I forgot to bring my fake ID luckily Charles cousin let me in since he works there.

I sit on the stool.

"The usual." I said twirling my hair with my finger tips.

"You know Noel a lot of people are worried about you." Charles cousin says preparing my drink.

"Well I'm fine just supper, nothings wrong all is right." I said sighing.

"Charles hasn't spoken for an entire month, he doesn't wear his style clothing anymore and instead wears what his father wants him to wear." He hands me the cup. "He hasn't smiled, or laughed, he lost all his courage to stand up for who he is."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Stop being a smart ass okay you're like an idol to him. Remember how you two met?" He asks me as he walks away to another customer.

How we met? We met about five or six years ago it was in middle school right? How did we become friends? I begin to remember, Charles was getting bullied about... wearing pink nail polish?

*The Day We Met*

...........................................................

"What kind of boy are you? Your wearing nail polish!" Richard yells in the middle of math class.

"Hey let go of me!" Charles yells pulling his arm away.

Charles had been bullied by a bunch of jerks in the seventh grade. Just because he isn't a follower on mens fashion. I admired that about him he did whatever he could to be himself even if it meant being bullied. Even so he didn't have anyone to call friend its depressing somewhat.

Charles eats lunch by himself but Richard always puts something in his lunch bag like spiders or ants. So Charles never eats at school I of course had a meal everyday watching him suffer alone and sad, and yet he never changed he was always truthful to himself. As many times he was bullied he kept being who he was until something bad happened.

"Now the gay boy has a ring what next? A necklace and a purse to go with it?" Richard says while laughing with his friends.

"Give it back it's important to me!" Charles yell jumping with his little body to reach the ring Richard had taken from him.

"No I think I'll just throw it I don't know how about I feed it to my pet snake? He likes crap." Richard puts the ring in his pants pockets walking away to the other side of the lunch room.

"No my sister gave me that!" Charles runs after Richard. "Please I will stop dressing this way, if you please give me back that ring."

Richard turns around and looks at Charles he begins to grin weirdly at him. He turns around and walks back with his friends. He takes the ring out of his pocket and smiles at Charles.

"I want you to change your style and tell the whole school you like to suck dick." Richard smiles and laughs with his friends again.

"If you promise to give it back." Charles stood up and began to shiver from nervousness.

I couldn't take it anymore so I threw away my lunch and headed out to the library but before I could leave I turned around. There Charles was tearing up about to have his pride taken away and humiliation with it. Just for a ring from his sister I looked into his eyes and sighed. I opened the door and exhaled leaving from this nightmare but then I closed the door.

"Richard fuck off!" I yelled across the lunch room everyone looking at me.

"Well miss smarty pants I wouldn't talk if I was you. Since your one of the biggest whores in out school." Richard begins to walk towards me grabbing Charles by the arm dragging him along.

"Well at least I'm not a virgin." I say to Richard, as he begins to freeze.

"Why are you sticking up for fruit cake here? Only a man can please you." Richard pushes Charles on to the ground.

"Yes men please me shoot me for being real and not a fake loser who sucks more dick than the gay guy." I cross my arms and everyone in the lunchroom begins to laugh.

Richard gets mad and throws the ring at Charles and walks away. Charles was unharmed and he began to cry but it wasn't sad tears , it waz tears of relief.

"Thank you Noel." He says smiling as he wiped his tears.

From the on me and Charles were always close he was my idol as I was his. We both pushed eachother to be who we are.

*Now*

.......................................

I jumped out of my seat and Charles cousin looks at me and smiles. He nods his head and walked away laughing at me I guess for realising so late.

I ran to Charles house and knocked on his door banging on it hoping he was home. After I knocked one more time Charles opened the door sighing. He saw me and his eyes began to open as if he saw a ghost and he stood there waiting for my first words.

"Hey can you help me get back what was mine?" I said to Charles.

"What?" Charles replies.

"I want Jesse back, I know I have been the worse possible friend but can you forgive me?" I held my hands together.

"Noel your my best friend in the world so when you lose confidence so do I." Charles teared up. "Thank you for coming back, thank you for not giving up. Welcome back Noel."

"Sorry I was taking a small break, but hopefully I can get him back. Now lets get my man back for good." I hug Charles and patted him on the back.

I guess this love story hasn't even started yet now this is the part where I get him back with no complaints. I guess when I fell for him I should have known there was no safety net to catch me and take me away. The harder the battle the sweeter the victory I suppose.