soukoku/double black oneshots

a new beginning / angst

the rustic smell of lupin's bar enveloped dazai as he opened the familiar door. ever night, dazai would always arrive at the same spot. as expected, his partner, chuuya, arrived earlier than him. the shorter red wine  haired male had already taken several shots of his favorite wine.

"i see i'll have to end up carrying you back to hq again today", dazai said as he sat down at his favorite leather stool next to chuuya.

"as if i need your help. my ability is literally gravity manipulation", chuuya said. dazai rolled his eyes and nodded at the bartender for a drink. he wasnt really sure why he even came her every night. even if chuuya said he wouldnt need dazai, dazai knew by the end of their drinks itll be him dragging the latter back.

"you say that now, but pretty soon you'll be drunk and if i leave you'll rot to death at this bar", dazai said jokingly. his face adruptly lit up and he placed his head on his hand and turned to face chuuya. "that would actually be a great way for me to die!"

"what happened to you wanting to double suicide with a 'lovely woman'", chuuya said and rolled his eyes. from outside the bar, anyone passing by could hear the light hearted bickering of the duo. little did both of them know that by the tick of the clock at midnight tomorrow their world would never be the same.

tears filled dazais brown eyes as he held oda's body close to him. he had been a great friend to dazai, one of the only ones he had. death had been a normal thing for dazai since he was a young child, but something about his friend dying lit a spark in his heart. the last words of his friend rang in his ears.

"become a good man."

dazai wasnt sure what to do with the advice oda had left him. something told him he had to start again. he couldnt stay in the same dark corner of the world he had always been in. thought the light would burn at first, dazai was sure he needed it to move on and grow. after all, stars need darkness before they need light.

dazai blinked away his tears and quickly stood up. he adjusted his suit and breathed in the smell of the place he was in. if it werent for the fact that his friends dead body was in front of him the place would have been considered lovely, a perfect spot for double suicide. light streaks broke into the building and shined upon dazais delicate figures. he vowed to come back, someday.

chuuya grumpily walked into the usual bar. once he entered, he immediately felt that something was off. the usual cheery atmosphere had changed to somber and silent. chuuya had a feeling in his gut that dazai wouldnt be coming today. he shrugged. he could use some quiet time without the suicide enthusiast ranting about the newest suicide spot he found.

hours passed and the jingle of the door never sounded. chuuya hadnt touched his drink since he had arrived. all that could be heard inside the bar was the cling of glass from the bartender and the sound of chuuya pacing the room. when the clock striked 12, chuuya sighed in discontent and walked out the room.
no one would know this was the last time one of them walked into the bar.

the next morning, chuuya woke up to birds chirping. the room felt oddly empty without dazai sleeping across from him. he quickly shook it off and put on his signature outfit. when he was about to leave through the door, something caught his eyes.

where dazai usually slept, there was instead a note and a small box. one of his eyebrows perked in confusion as he walked over to the items. what he found in the letter surprised him and brought him to tears.

dear mr. fancy hat,
youre probably overworrying about me and trying to hide it, as usual. try not to worry! i havent died (yet :)).
first of all, i have to tell you. i didnt realize my feelings myself until it sunk in that i was leaving. i love you.
i will be gone for a bit. i want to better. for me and you. please dont try looking for me, i am going to be fine and so are you. i promise to come back someday. i left you a gift! a brand new choker to give you a bit of fashion. itll look better than your hat does. im sorry for leaving so suddenly.
sincerely,
your personal suicide maniac

he never came back.