soukoku/double black oneshots

blind heart / angst

If only Dazai had made it in time. If only. Those words kept echoing in his mind. It was always in the back of his mind, teasing him, there was no escape.

He couldnt erase the memory from his head. The blood stained floor from yesterday still stayed glued to his eyes. He impatiently paced the room he'd been left in. The walls were a monotone gray and not a sound could be heard past these doors. He was anxious for answers, the doctors hadnt even told him where theyd taken him. All he could do was hope for the best.

"You can visit him now." the nurse from earlier said as she entered the room. She was surprised to see he was still waiting after two days. His eyes showed her he didn't know how much time had passed. She herself didn't know much about the situation, but she knew of the news they were about to tell the brunette once he walked through the doors to where they kept Chuuya. She almost couldnt bring herself to lead him there.

Dazai quickly stood up from his seat and brushed his brown locks from his eyes. He told himself to not keep his hopes up, but he couldn't help but hope his partner was fine. He wasn't even sure how much time had passed since then, minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days. He sighed and followed the short nurse through the dark halls.

They came to a stop at a door with the number 67 on it. Underneath there was a simple silver plaque that had the words Chuuya Nakahara written on it. The nurse stood back and nodded to him to let him know he was ok to go in. With trembling hands he opened the door and gasped at the sight before him.

Chuuya's red locks were covering most of his face, the other half was covered by a set of bandages. Dazai cupped his mouth with his hands to hold in the lump in his throat. He hesitated for a moment before rushing to the redhead's side and gripping his hand tightly.

"Dazai, is it you?" Chuuya asked. All he'd seen since waking up was pitch black. He couldnt even be sure if his eyes were open or not. He squeezed the hand holding onto his and he was quick to realize it was the brunette due to the familiar bandages on his arm.

"Yes, it's me." Dazai said. He pulled a loose strange of red hair behind Chuuya's ear and smiled to himself before tilting his head to face the doctors. "May I speak to you?" he asked the male doctor waiting near the door. He curtly nodded and opened the door to the hall for them.

"How is he?" Dazai desperately asked. His eyes were swirling with worry and guilt over what had happened to Chuuya. Why was his face covered in bandages? What happened to him while he waited in that room?

"He received a shot to the eyes." the doctor began with a sigh. "He barely lived, but I'm sorry to say...we weren't able to save his sight."

The doctor's words echoed through the hall and lingered in the air for a few seconds. It took a few moments for Dazai to take it in. Chuuya being blind...no that surely couldnt be true, could it? He shook off the thought and brought his attention back to the doctor.

"How long does he have left?" the brunette questioned the male in front of him. He had several questions and he wasnt even sure how to put them into words. The shock still lingered in his how very blind heart.

"He has a week." the doctor said, keeping his eyes on the white tile floor. He didnt want to look up to find cold, dark chocolate eyes staring into his lighter ones. All emotion seemed to be drained from Dazai as he nodded and walked back into Chuuya's room, this time closing the door behind him.

"Dazai, I cant see you." Chuuya said with a slight whimper. Dazai took a seat next to his partner and took the gloved hand in his. Chuuya gulped down his fear and wiped his tears with his free hand.

"What will everyone think of me now?" Chuuya asked to no one in particular. Would the mafia throw him out? He didnt want to think of that. What hurt the most was Dazai; he'd never see his smiles or suicide attempts again. He smiled a bittersweet smile and shook his head.

"It'll all be fine." Dazai gently whispered into his ear. He quickly picked Chuuya's cheek, setting his face on fire. He smiled sweetly and brought him into a hug. "Even if you cant see me, I'll always be with you, sir fancy hat."

The next week passed by, Dazai never leaving his side. He slept in the chair next to Chuuya and ate in the table next to the bed. Though Kunikida tried all he might, he wasn't able to make it through to him. As the end of the week approached, Dazai felt grim at the thought of this being the end.

Now, five years later, he still remembers the last words Chuuya uttered before he fell into an eternal sleep.

I love you too, you waste of bandages.