Pagkatapos namin magdinner ay hinatid ko na si Sarah at Cobbe sa bahay at tumuloy na sa party.
Pagdating ko sa party at na-overwhelmed ako sa lahat ng congratulations, ang galing mo messages. I missed this life.
We were at the dining area, me and my team mates and suprisingly talked about our personal lives in a serious manner. Maybe the alcohol quickly kicks in. (:
'Kamusta na pare? You've been very busy lately ha.' One asked.
I didn't heard and noticed that my phone rings.
I pushed my back into my seat.
'I caught up with practices and responsibilities at home eh.' I answered, playing with the bottle in one hand.
'Iba na kasi ang priorities mo man. But dont forget that you have a life outside.'
'I know. You know naman I dont plan of having this life. God knows I dont want this,' I said.
'What happened?'
'I have to deal with it,' I continued. 'I have to take Cobbe in. But its hard. I cant do it. Sometimes, im thinking of letting him go, and let Sarah took the full custody.' I stood up. 'But I cant..'
I heard my phone fell. I looked at it.
Connected..
Baby Girl
1:24
'Hello?'
'I think I heard enough.' She said and hanged up the phone.
What just happen?
'Pare I think I need to go. Sorry, bawi ako! Congratulations to us!' I said and ran towards the door.
Nagmamadali akong umuwi. My hands are cold, trembling. Halos paliparin ko na yung kotse ko pauwi.
Nadatnan ko syang nasa sala, and looks like she's waiting for me.
Before I could talk. 'Yes we need to talk. We need to arrange the visitation terms, kung gusto mo pa sya bisitahin.;
'Babe,' I attempted to hold her hand pero iniwasan nya ito. 'Please, thats not what I meant.'
'Eh ano?' She shouted, misty eyes. 'Anong gusto mo pala? Sorry kung na-caught up ka sa sitwasyon. Sana sinabi mo na lang agad. Madali ako kausap, Gerald. Hindi yung ganto. Hindi yung sa iba mo sinasabi.'
'Hindi yun, Sa. Hindi yun ang ibig kong sabihin.' I said. Naiiyak na rin ako.
'I know you don't want this, na napilitan ka lang talaga in the first place. Pero akala ko kasi okay na. Kala ko okay na tayo. Pero ang sakit pala pag ikaw ang nagsabi.' Tears starting to fell down on her eyes. ' May plano ka na palang iwan kami. Kaya ka ba nanligaw para madali mo na lang gawin yun samen? saken?'
Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. But seeing her crying, parang nadudurog yung puso ko. I dont want her to cry, pero eto.. ako ang dahilan kung bakit nya ginagawa.
'Yes, I dont want this. I miss my life, yes!' I finally said it. 'Yan ba ang gusto mong sabihin ko? I finally shouted. 'I dont want Cobbe in the first place, but I took him in Sarah. I took him in. I let him changed my life. I let you two, changed my life.' I turned my back. 'I sacrificed everything for him. for you. My lifestyle. My plans. Pero di mo pala nakikita yon.' I started to cry. 'I made all the effort Sarah. All the effort I can do in this relationship. Pero hindi pala enough. HIndi enough para sayo.'
'I think we need a time off.. space.. for Cobbe and for ourselves.' She said while wiping her tears.
'You decided before asking me. Ano pang magagawa ko.'
'I just dont want you to do something na hindi mo gusto, na napipilitan ka lang.'
'I just want to add something sa narinig mo. Yes I dont want this, pero natutunan kong mahalin ang buhay na to. You made it easy for me to be a father. Hindi ko man nagustuhan sa umpisa, but i learned to loved it.' I said looking intently at her.
'But still..' she continued.
'Dont tell me kung ano ang mga bagay na hindi ko gusto o napipilitan lang ako, because you yourself dont follow the principle.'
'Gerald please.'
'Kala mo hindi ko alam why you're working like a horse this past few weeks? I know this is because of your family, dont get me wrong I loved my family as well. But they have to do something about it as well. Hindi lang ikaw Sarah. You have a life on your own already, decide on your own!'
'This is over. This is not about me.' She said coldly.
'Yes this is about you and me. And you just threw it all away.'
I slammed the entrance door and walked out of the house. Drive as far as I can.
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@arianeffinbass on twitter!
Syempre hindi lagi masaya, hindi everyday.. christmas. (:
Congratulations sa very succesful AshRald Party/Baby Girl's Birthday Celebration last night!! To the cores, admins, and officials pati sa mga naki-virtual party sa twitter at PEX!
