Dear Mom,

accepting fate

dear mom,

should i be depressed to know that i only have five years left to live, and that i can't have children, oh also that i can't identify reality from hallucinations?

yes i should very much be depressed knowing this, but am i depressed? no, i'm not really depressed.

i guess i just accepted my fate as it is, cedric haven't though. he's asked the doctor if i could get a lung transport, and the doctor told me it could be dangerous considering i have no brothers or sisters, and also how she doesn't know how my lung could function with a different persons lung.

cedric isn't doing well with this, and since i graduated from college, and since i'm 29, i only have a year left to live.

but during those four years of knowing i was going to die, i spent my life spending time with family, cooking, and actually buying a place for cedric and i, not to mention i got a job at this really good hospital.

so i'm taking care of children, making sure they are okay, healing people, making new research and cures. not to mention working at Starbucks, and also at the orphanage shelter, my life's been good.

i even adopted a little boy whose parents were killed from an armed solider in Africa, it's fine though cedric and i love him both so dearly.

we named the little boy henry, and henry loves us both so dearly, he even draws pictures of us all being a happy family. oh he is going to be a second grader next year, i'm so happy for him.

during the times i lived in cedric's and mine new home, sure there been problems, pipes leakages, water shut down, black outs, termites, rats ambushed, the roof falling apart.

but we fixed them all by the money i've been earning.

mommy.

i don't want to die. i want to live and see my son grow up, i want to see henry graduate from elementary school, from college, from middle school, from high school, from life! i want to see henry get married and have children, and that he gets a job or when i don't give him something that he'll plead with me to get him like a new car or toy.

i want to meet henry's girlfriend from when he gets older.

i don't want to die mommy!

love,

ann

scribbled on a piece of paper while multiple amount of tears are on paper.