Saia: The Beginning

Chapter Nine

Saia POV:

I was in the lunch line, when I saw Terrance from across the room. I smiled. It was like seeing my happiness in human form. Who knew someone like me would end up like this? Who knew someone would actually care for me?

Just as I picked my food up and began making my way to our table, I spotted Terrance leaving. He was chasing after Mike. For whatever reason, Mike and Terrance hadn't been talking and neither have Cymen and I. I don't know what changed.

Maybe he went to go resolve their differences and I wanted to see what was going to happen. I set my food down and followed them.

Pretty soon we were outside. Mike looked as if he was trying to leave but then Terrance said something that I couldn't decipher. 

I guess it made Mike mad because he ended up pushing Terrance. My heart began to race thinking a fight was about to take place. 

Instead of that, Terrance stood to him and said something but I was still too far to hear. Eventually, Mike got in the car and zoomed off as Terrance watched. What was going on with them?

I was too deep in my thoughts to even notice that Terrance spotted me watching.

"So what was that about?" I asked him

"How much did you see?" he replied.

"Enough to know you need to be real with me."

"Yeah...maybe we should talk."

Instead of going back inside, we took a silent ride back to our neighborhood. I decided to go back to his place because during this time my mom would still be home and she'd definitely have some words for me if she knew I was skipping.

Once we got into his room, he sat down on the bed and put his head into his hands.

"What's wrong?"

"You know what? I'm just gone be upfront. Cymen came on to me last night. She came over and-"

"Nah what you mean she came onto you? What was she doing here?" I could feel my blood beginning to boil.

"Last night, she came over here saying how she liked me and how I should be with her not you. She wanted to fuck but I told her no. She kept touching and grabbing on me."

Eventually I began to zone out. There's no way it was true. Cymen was beginning to become one of my closest friends. If it was true, that would mean someone would get hurt. Lord knows I can't control my anger.

"You still listening?" I heard him ask.

"Yeah."

"So...are you mad?"

"Nah, I gotta go though."

I felt my evil alter ego start to take over me. I had to get out of there as soon as possible considering Terrance knew nothing of it yet.

Just as I was making my way out, he grabbed my arm and turned me towards him. "You know all I want is you," he started, "Hey... I've never noticed that your eyes change colors."

This was news to me too. "They do?" 

"Yeah. They were a light brown, now they're almost...black." 

At first, he had a look of amazement but then it turned into fear. Clearly he knew something wasn't right with me. How long was I going to live this lie? 

Terrance was definitely someone I saw a future with. I had to let him see the real me.

With all the thoughts running through my mind, I couldn't hold back my tears. I began thinking about everything I've done in my past. I needed help.

"Aye stop crying," He wiped away my tears, "What's wrong?"

"T? Remember that night I gave you my number?"

"Yeah. You were crying. How could I ever forget?"

"I told you that I had alot on my mind that I had to deal with and you said you'd always be there to listen."

"I remember."

Here goes nothing. I led him back down onto the bed and held his hands into my own. I stared deeply into his mahogany brown eyes, silently praying he'd still want me after this.

I took a deep breath as I got ready to announce my truth. "Terrance I'm schi-"

Just as I was trying to get the words out, my phone rang. When I looked at it, it was my mom. 

"Hello?"

"Asaia, your uncle died."

"What?!" 

I knew deep down what happened, but part of me was still shocked. 

"Get home now." she told me.

I could hear her crying over the phone. I thought to myself how I needed to be stopped. First it was her husband, now it's her brother. My mother's life was slowly falling apart and I was at fault for it. Why do I do the things I do?"

"I gotta go T."

"Wait what was you finna tell me?"

I had completely forgot about how I was just about to "come out"  to him a few seconds ago. "I guess now wasn't the right time." With that, I rushed out the door.

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Mike POV:

After I heard what I heard, I tried to convince myself to be cool with it but I just wasn't. Aint no way in hell I could sit up in they face like everything was fine. I wasn't finna smile and laugh and joke and play dumb.

I knew that if I stayed at school, somebody was gone get they ass beat no cap.

I needed time to myself to think. 

At first, I was fucked up over Cymen but that's when I came to a conclusion that a hoe gone be a hoe. It aint nothing to replace her with a finer bitch.

I was more mad about T. We been rocking since diaper days. I've never once had to question his loyalty. So for him to pull some shit like this... it's beyond me.

I never did no shit like that to him.

I remember when I was 10. I had lost my only brother after he was gunned down walking to the corner store. He was my motivation and when I felt like the world was against me, I knew I always had him if nobody else. When he died, I felt like I had nothing left. Terrance was my mans but at the time we weren't that close.

But shit changed when David died. Terrance stepped in and filled that void. He became my brother, the realest nigga on my team. 

When my brother died, it took alot for me to keep going. I thought about ending my life a few times. Like no bullshit, that nigga T kept my ass from jumping off the ledge. He kept me sane and told me the storm was gone pass, I just had to wait it out.

We got so many memories and so much history. Whenever I was dealing with something, he stood 10 toes down right along with me. Never told me I was on my own. When I needed something, he always made sure I was straight and I would do the same for him. He know everything I've been through. He seen me at my worst.

When everybody else saw me smiling, he the only one who ever saw me breaking down. Because of him, I'm stronger. Blood couldn't make us any closer. Like no gay shit, that nigga my other half. He was all I had.

But now he betrayed me. Day after day, I realize I'm all I got. I can't lose myself.

So now I'm sitting here smoking this blunt, hoping this Backwood gone take my pain away. I'm irritated, hurt, and confused. It's like fuck that nigga but at the same time, ion wanna lose my brother over no bitch.

Sometimes I just be wishing God could just come down and tell me what to do because I really be lost sometimes. I wake up every morning thinking what the fuck am I doing?

Oh well, I was good before, I'll be even better after. I don't need nobody. As long as I keep telling myself that, I'll be fine.