Okayokay. I know most of you guys really don't care at all about me rn. But I just need to idk.
I am like on the verge of an anxiety attack.
I hate my life fml!!!
My mom just kept saying today about how ungrateful I am and how I make her miserable. How she'd be so much happier living in New York. The crazy thing is my whole family agreed with her. They all kept telling me how horrible I am. How stupid.
But they just don't know how much I'm dying inside. How much it hurts. I'm in so much pain I can literally feel it all over my body.
No one knows how BADLY I just want to die.
I don't know if I can last much longer.
The voices are getting louder. The pain is getting stronger and no amount of cutting can stop it.
And the thing is, I barely cut. I'm seriously addicted but I barely do it. You see, I live in Florida and in the sunny state my mom doesn't believe in wearing hoodies. And since they found out about my cutting a yet ago I can't wear too many bracelets. So if I cut it's visible and she will freak.
My skin is longing for relief. The demons are winning.
I hate it!
Why did I get like this!? How did I get like this!? To be a freaking suicidal freak who just wants to cut every inch of her flesh.
I have two cats.
And since I have two cats I can get away with two cuts here and one there. But that is not enough.
I'm sorry I'm even telling this to you.
I'm sorry I even live.
Society sucks and I just want to die. Why does everyone hate me so much? What did I do? Why is my existence poison to people? Why am I never good enough no matter how hard I try.
I just don't see the point anymore.
