THE MOON'S REDEMPTION

Part 5

Pha is standing in front of Beams door he's nervous, dread and fear are once again creeping up his spine, he's wondering if this is the right thing to do and is it the right time. He's determined to stop lying to those who matter to him. Look where keeping secrets got him. His parents might disown him after this is over but he would have his dear friends standing with him. After another round of debate with himself he finally manages to Knock on the door. Beam opens the door, he is dressed in shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt pulled to his elbows, his bare feet on the wooden floor. For the first time in all the years that Pha has known Beam he notices how pretty his toes are, Pha is surprise at his thought and shakes it off. ' What's that about?' He thinks to himself, ' I must be loosing it.'

" I brought pizza." Pha says to clear his mind. " Great I am rather hungry, haven't had dinner." Is the response from Beam. Pha walks in and places the pizza's and drinks on the center table that also serve as an eating area for Beam, they both sit on the floor and begin to devour their dinner in silence, Pha was debating within himself how to broach the subject with Beam he didn't realized that he was sighing, " Pha what's the problem, you keep sighing?"

" There is no problem. By the way Beam, I wanted to let you know that I finally spoke to Forth earlier on tonight and he agreed to help me."

" That's a good thing isn't it?"

" Yes it is." Pha responded hesitantly, " He told me an interesting story about something that happened to him involving Pring." Pha tells Beam of his meeting with Forth from beginning to end. " The truth is I didn't think he was going to help that's why I was reluctant to ask for his help." Beam frowned at the statement, " Why would you think that Pha? Forth is a good person as far as I know and that is despite he and I not always seeing eye to eye, plus I know the both of you have been pretty close since you both took part in the 'Moon and Star' competition last year." Pha swallows loudly, he knew this question would come once he made that comment." I have a confession to make Beam. It's something I've kept to myself because after I told my parents, they foisted Pring on me." Beam is waiting heart clenched in his chest he has a pretty good idea about what Pha is about to confess all because of the drunken night. He wants Pha to trust him with his secrets but at the same time he is afraid, afraid that what he thinks might not be what Pha wants to confess.

Beam has stop eating, he need his full focus so that he does not fall to pieces if Pha tells him he's in love with someone, he does not want to crumble when it comes. Beam's eyes are peeled on Pha awaiting this long overdue confession. " Beam, I am gay." Beam allows a small breath to escape him, he thinks to himself 'Okay, I can handle this if this all.' Out loud he says " I kind of guessed as much after your drunken rumblings Pha." Beam confides.

"That's not all," Pha interjects, " For the longest while I was in love with someone," Pha barely stops to breath while speaking scared he'll loose his nerve. " Because of my dad's threat I never dared to confess to him, not thinking he'd ever be interested in me." Pha was finding it hard to continue but he has to go on if he expects things to change. "When we graduated from high school I never thought I'd see him again, although I was always thinking about him." as Beam listen to Pha he felt his heart tearing apart but he wanted to be a good friend so he quietly sat and listen while his heart bled. " I met him a few weeks ago as a student of this uni but stupid me did not recognize him so much about about him was different and to top it all he'd become sexier and more beautiful. While we were on the trip for the 'Moon and Star' photo shoot he came to me and confessed." A tear slid down Pha's cheek, he's angry at how blind and stupid he'd been, he's angry for letting his parents control him and he's angry for letting love pass him by. Beam reach out and held his hand, " It okay Pha you don't have to continue if it hurts."

" No," Pha shook his head " I want to get this off my chest or else I won't be able to move on." Pha wiped the tear off his face and continued his story, " When he confessed I turned him down because stupid me did not recognize him did I say that already." Pha lets out a forced laugh," It was during the competition that I heard his full name, I tried to make up for it that night by sending him flowers, when I placed the sash on him I even hinted to him that I recognized him, but I guess by then It was to late, I was too late. Anyway when I did manage to speak to him later on he told me he'd moved on, that was the night I ended at your place drunk. He also mention that Pring told him to stay away from me. The reason why I thought that Forth would not help is because the person is his boyfriend N' Yo."

Beam could not believe what he'd just heard Pha was/ had been in love with Yo this whole time and he never new. But what struck him the most about Pha's story was him not recognizing the one he loved,' WOW! how was Pha the smartest student in the medical faculty.' Beam thought to himself, out loud he said, " How do you feel about him now?" Pha gave a wan smile, " I've chosen to let go. It was my fault in the first place, and anyway as long as I have Pring hanging unto me like a dead corpse I can't have a real relationship. For awhile I thought about fighting for him but if I won him back would I be able to keep him with me? I now realized that I was lying to myself. Once Pring's fiasco is over I will allow myself to love again, in the meantime I will work hard to get this blood sucking leach off of me."

Beam was still holding Pha's hand he smile at his friend, " It will be over sooner than you think Pha." inwardly he thought ' Maybe there is still a chance for me then.'

After Pha's confession he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest, it was easier to breath and his heart was beating in a more natural rhythm as if the fear had been push out by the truth being spoken. " I also want to tell Kit about me being gay, although the part about N' Yo I want to keep this between us, because you've seen me at my worse and stood by me." Beam's heartbeat increased at Pha's words, the fact that Pha was only telling him of this made him feel special never in all their years of friendship had there been a secret just between the two of them, usually if one of them knew something about the other, the one not present at the time of the telling would be told later. This made him feel that anything could happen, and he did realize that after Pha's drunken night that things between the two of them were slowly changing. This was a secret he was willing to guard to protect Pha although he knew he wouldn't have to, his romantic side didn't care about that it just wanted to believe anything at the moment.

Beam feels that an invisible line has moved closer to him, and he's ecstatic about that small change Pha may not noticed those changes but for someone who's been loving Pha for so long, for someone who knew Pha in and out, that someone was bound to notice those minor changes no matter how small they may appear .

When the boys were done talking the got ready for bed,Pha took a quick shower he borrowed some sweats from Beam of which he only wore the bottoms. Beam licks his lips at the sight before him, Pha has such a beautiful body, looking at it made him want to kiss every inch of it, he knows he must behave himself because Pha can't know how he feels about him this soon out of the gate, they must first resolve the problem they are now facing only after that can the next step be taken.

With Pha having acknowledged his sexuality Beam wants to give himself one more chance where his feelings for Pha are concerned if nothing happens then he'll move on. After Pha showers Beam heads to the bathroom to cool down, before Pha arrived he'd showered but he finds himself in need of another. Once his libido is under control he towel dries himself dresses and heads back out into the room where he crawls under the covers, as he tries to get himself comfortable he hears his friend's gentle snore, he turns to look at him an opportunity he seldom gets. He reaches his hand out and traces his brows and slowly and carefully runs his hand on his cheek as his thumb traces the length of Pha's lips, he wishes he could lean in and kiss him, but he knows he should not Pha moves in his sleep and mumbles something which he is unable to decipher yet he quickly removes his hand less he should be caught in a compromising situation. He once again turn from Pha tries to get comfortable so he could fall asleep, it takes awhile but he is finally claimed by Hypnos who was soon joined by Morpheus.