*If you think this is about you please don't read it lol*
I don't know why I've been worried all day. Overthinking everything and feeing this pit in my stomach. I know he's probably just sleeping or busy. I don't know what I'm so scared up. I'm not ever like this. Normally when something like this happens I can usually manage to forget about it until I have to deal with it. Everyone says cleaning and exercising don't let you think. But all it does is give me time to think. I'm just so scared of history repeating itself even though he's not like the others. I feel sick to my stomach I hate feeling like this. But they say fear means you have something to lose. I don't wanna lose him because I like him so much. God being a girl sucks this is why I hate my period. It makes me 15 again with unreasonable emotions. I know that once he texts me I'll be over it which makes me happy. Unless of course, this ends up like other times were people think they know what's best for me. Or maybe they are scared to want to be with me so they push me away. Cause they don't wanna have to deal with me being a girl. But it's only a few days a month and that's not fair. If I let all flaws bother me I'd never be with anyone again. But I look past them to the greater person they are. But no one is willing to do that for me. This is my whole life no one wanted to like me or love me because my emotions are intense once a month. But yet they want me like crazy when it's not that time. You can't just deal with me when you want. That's not how this works. All I get is conditionally love and affection from everyone I've ever met. It feels like I'm incapable of ever being loved or cared about for more than 4 months.
I get irrationally emotional when I get my period. And I overthink when I'm on my period but because I know it's my period I don't act on them. I also get vv dramatic. (This note may or may not also be here just in case the person this is about reads this lol. I promise I'm not always like this.)
Bye :3
