Bloopers-Made For You (Part Four)

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Bloopers * Made For You (Part Four):
Here's more stuff for ya! XD
Thirteen (Missing Persons 1 & 2):
Near, however, being the social outcast he was, had no interest in your body. Instead he seemed intent on handing you a box of something.
You cautiously took it and looked at it, trying to figure out what it was.
It was a box of drug tests.
"I caught you doing drugs on back in chapter ten; thought you might've been doing it again," Near said apathetically.
You quickly dropped the box and backed away, back into the bathroom.
.........
Me: Tee-hee; Near just broke the fourth wall! Bad boy! :3
*********
Fourteen (Can't Stop):
You straightened, your face a mask of horror.
You were pregnant.
With your father's child.
Your eyes were wide; your mouth in a small "o."
"N-no," you whispered hoarsely, dropping the test. "N-not possible. No...no...NO!"
You paused.
"...And...CUT!"
I approached you, waving around a megaphone and a rolled-up script, which I used to whack you on the head with.
Near came out from behind the closed bathroom "door" set piece.
"C'mon, ______!" I said, exasperated. "You need more emotion, girl! You know you can get it if you just try."
Near watched on apathetically.
You shook your head.
"I...it's just, if I were the main character, and not just the actress, I'd be overjoyed," you said nervously, twiddling your fingers nervously.
"To bear your dad's kid?!" My voice rose incredulously. What the hell were you thinking?
"Well, the thing is..." You looked at Near for support; he silently came to your side.
You grinned slowly. "We have something to tell you."
I tapped my foot impatiently. "Go on, but make it quick. We're on a schedule here!"
"I," you said proudly, "actually am pregnant."
I gaped.
"And, Near's the father," you continued proudly.
I just about fell sideways in shock.
What the hell?!
.........
Me: Hiding something, eh? ...Wow; you've been holding out on me.
*********
Fifteen (Mercy):
You wanted your unborn child gone forever.
And yet you couldn't abort it, could you? Who were you to try and play god, and decide who lives and who doesn't?
After all, look what happened to Kira, you thought somewhat wryly. Near said that he himself caught Kira and witnessed his death. Those who play god are not rewarded, right?
.........
Light: tru dat
Ryuk the Shinigami (aka a god of death): Excuuuse me?! It's been very amusing, thank you! Bynum yuk-damn you, autocorrect.... Buick-rrg. Hyuk hyuck! There we go!
Me: ...But being Jesus is beneficial. :) (said from experience)
*********
Sixteen (What You Wanted):
You get two again! Whee! XD
First:
Stretching, you stood up. You placed your dirty dish into the old, gray dishwasher, and were about to hurry out of the kitchen when Near grabbed your frail and scarred left wrist with his equally thin arm.
His cold, thin hand was like a shock to you.
Instinctively, you wrenched away your hand.
For but a moment you managed to completely forget about your shyness, and you spoke. "Jeez!" you exclaimed. "You're as cold as a vampire or something!"
Near smirked faintly.
"You weren't supposed to know about what I was," he said monotonously. "Oh, well. Not my fault."
Near grinned; the first real grin you'd seen on him-this was, though, that it was a feral sort of grin revealing two sharp fangs.
You gaped.
He leaped for your neck.
.........
Me: ...Oi, Near, d'you know someone from Washington that's named Edward?
Near: Our paths have occasionally crossed. I'm secretly dating him. Why?
Me: ... DX DX DX NOT GOOD NOT GOOD NOT GOOD!!!
Second:
"Yes, but are you happy?" Near pressed. He twisted some of his snowy-colored hair with a pale hand. "We want you to be healed fully. Are you scared here?"
You paused.
"Y-yes; of course I'm scared!" you retorted.
"Of what?" Near asked, his calmness the exact opposite of your worked-up tone.
"Of-of your goddamn puppy; that's what!"
(see the blooper from chapter three)
*********
Seventeen (Feel Again):
A few minutes after your frenzied sprint back to your room, though, you came slowly trudging back, dejected.
"I have nothing to wear in the snow," you announced sadly to Near and Hal.
In fact, you appeared to have nothing to wear. Period.
"Gah! My eyes!" Hal wailed, covering Near's eyes with her hands. "At least go find a towel, woman!"
.........
Me: *winces*
*********

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