Pure At Heart

Pure At Heart (22) The bird isn't smiling today

"Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life."

                                                  ___________

At dinner the following night, it was quieter than usual. Nobody was talking to each other. I hated this environment. And it was all because of Maryan. If someday she embraces Islam, she'll realize what a big sin she had commited. No one was even looking at each other. I think Zayd's dad had also found out about what happened, since he hadn't even said salam to me when he came back from his work.

After dinner, I was cleaning the kitchen, when Zaynah came and snatched the plates from me.

"I don't want to you touching anything in this house with your dirty hands. Get out of here!" she snapped at me. I wiped my hands and got out the kitchen. Before going up in my room, I went and sat down in the backyard. The wind was blowing the leaves off the ground. I couldn't care less for anything at the moment. I wanted to scream out to the world what I was going through. I wanted everyone to know that Maryan was lying. I used to be bad but I wasn't anymore. I had changed. I was pure at heart.

"It's going to rain soon", I heard Zayd's voice from behind. I sighed. "I know", I replied without looking at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he sat down beside me. I let out a small laugh. "Everything", I replied. He sighed. "I know. Life sucks", he told me. I nodded.

"Well it does currently. I don't know how i'll clear my name", I wondered out loud. He put his hand over mine. "You don't have to. Allah knows you're telling the truth", he said. I smiled.

I knew he was right. As long as Allah knew I was telling the truth everything will be fine. But I had to show the world that I was not bad. I was good. And right now, it all seemed impossible. How will I survive in this house when no one even wants me to touch anything?

"And at least your family believes you", he said. I shook my head. "They don't know anything yet. And i'm not going to tell them", I said. I was scared of my dad. I knew he wouldn't believe me if I told him everything.

"Well always remember that you have me with you", Zayd said as he tucked my hair behind my ear. I smiled and put my head on his shoulder. "I know", I closed my eyes. Just then, a drop of water fell on my face and that's when I knew, Allah had sent down his mercy in the form of rain.

"Wanna play?" Zayd asked and I laughed. We both got up from the bench and went and stood in the middle. The rain got heavy and formed a small puddle in the middle. We both splashed in it as if we were little kids. Then we bumped into each other and I had never been this close to Zayd. He cupped my face between his hands and very gently, gave me a kiss on my forehead. "I love you Hamna", he said as his hand moved down to my waist. He pulled me closer towards him as he stared into my eyes. "And i'll never leave you", he kissed my forehead again. I smiled and buried my face in chest.

"Sorry to ruin this moment but was that necessary?" I asked. He let go of me. "You're a romance killer Hamna", he laughed and so did I. I opened up the sprinklers. "I know", I said and ran away. He followed me behind and in that moment, I forgot everything. We were chasing each other like a cat and a mouse, when someone's voice interrupted us.

"Zayd, get away from her!" it was Zaynah. Zayd stopped in his tracks and stared at her. "Why would I?" he shouted back.  She went close to him. "She is not pure", she told him. I looked down and before she could insult me more, I walked back inside. I ran up to my room and locked myself. They thought I was bad and so it was ok to make me feel bad. I had to pray to Allah. I knew He would never leave me alone in this. This was a very hard test from Him, but if I remain patient, I'll pass it. Insha'Allah.

I made wudhu and prayed two nafl. I prayed to Allah.

Oh Rehman! Help me remain patient and steadfast during this test. I don't want to end up like the people who gained your anger, instead of your mercy. Oh Allah help me! And help me gain the same pure reputation of mine. Ameen

As soon as I finished, I heard a knock on the door. I opened it and Zayd came inside. He was soaking wet because of the rain.

"You're all dried up", he said and I smiled. "Yeah", I put away the prayer mat and sat down on the bed. Zayd went and took a bath. I stared at the ceiling as I rested my head on the pillow. The scene that took place today replayed in my mind. The way Maryan just stood there lying and the way I stood there, unable to do anything. I was helpless. But I knew this was only for a temprorary amount of time. Because as Allah says in the Quran,  "Verily, with every hardship comes relief."

I felt much better after I remembered the ayah. I closed my eyes and before I knew it, I was sleeping.

I woke up when I felt someone shaking me abrubtly.

"Hamna wake up! Mama's not feeling ok", Zayd was saying. I sat up. "What happened? What time is it?" I asked.

"It's still night. Mama just fainted. They took her to the hospital and we are leaving too", he said as he put his shoes on. I got up and put my hijab on. We all rode with Zaynah and her daughter. Her husband had already left with Zayd's dad. The car ride was quiet and filled with sobs. I wanted to comfort Zaynah but I didn't know if that would end up in a fight. So I didn't.

When we got there, Zayd's dad and Zaynah's husband were standing outside a room, tears filled in their eyes.

"What's wrong baba? What did the doctor say?" Zaynah asked her dad. He tried to calm her down. He sat down with her on a chair and stroked her hair gently. When she was a little calmed down, he told her very softly.

"Your mom is fine at the moment. But the doctor said that she might have symptoms of leukemia", he said. Zaynah sat stiff as well as Zayd and I.

"Leukemia?" Zayd said, fear clear in his voice. His dad nodded. "Yes. Leukemia", he replied.

"Is it really severe?" I asked him. He looked at me then turned back to his daughter. He kept comforting her and kept stroking her back gently. I looked at Zayd, but he didn't notice his dad's behavior. Tears filled my eyes, but I immediately wiped them away. We had bigger problems. I sat down on a chair away from them.

After about an hour or so, the doctor came outside and told us that we could go and see her now. We all went inside. She greeted everyone, although she sounded very weak. When she saw me, she turned her head the other way.

"Please tell her to go away. She is a curse to this family. She'll leave and everything will be fine", she was saying. I looked at Zayd and he had a helpless look in his eyes.

"Hamna", Zayd's mother addressed me. "Please get out of my family. If you wish good for this family, leave. You're a curse", she sounded polite, yet she was being rude. Without saying anything, I got out the room. When I got out, I turned around to see if Zayd was coming after me but he wasn't. I sat down on a chair and waited for them to come out. While I sat, I thought about my future. What was going to happen? Will I really have to leave? Will I lose Zayd forever?

Was this going to last forever?

_____

I took way too long with this one. Sorry.

But anyway, it's here and all. So yeah..

I'm just stressing so much about some stuff right now and I just don't know how to get things together. But insha'Allah i'm working on it. And insha'Allah, hopefully, everything will be back to normal in no time. Until then, please bare with my late and short updates.

Buuuuut something exciting happened and that is that my story 'Gravity' is on wattpad's reading list "Stories of My Ummah." How cool is that? I was so happy and just jumping up in joy.. lol. Go give it a chance if you like.. (I mean the story. lol)

Anyway, i'm outtyy.

Salams!

Oh and...

RAMADAN MUBARAK TO ALL! HAVE A GREAT AND AN AMAZING ONE!

BritishHolic. :)