Pure At Heart

Pure At Heart (30) Bundle Of Joy

"If Allah took from you that which you could never imagine losing, the He will grant you that you could never imaging having."

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I suddenly looked in the other direction. The last thing I wanted right now was Zayd recognizing me with my little baby bump. I wanted to talk to him but at the same time, I didn't. I don't know if it was the shaitan or my own logical "intelligent" mind, but in that moment I recalled everything I had gone through in the last 4 months. I recalled how Zayd had ignored my calls over and over again. I was now boiling inside. Part of me wanted to go up to him and yell at him in front of everyone. But another part of me wanted to quietly leave the aisle and then the library, without him even sensing I'm there.

A tear fell on my face but I quickly wiped it off. I turned around and looked at him again. He was busy in his work and wasn't looking at any one who passed. I still had a couple books to shelve but unfortunately, the shelf was close to where he was sitting. Saying a silent prayer, I walked up to the shelf and started shelving the books. I was so close to Zayd that I could smell his perfume. The same scent I used to smell when he would give me his signature bear hugs. I smiled to myself. Allah had given me another chance for my happiness. I could just easily turn around and talk to Zayd. Explain to him all that had happened and I was sure he would listen and take me into his care again.

Ok. I thought. I will talk to him. For my child's sake. It needs its father.

I smiled to myself at the fact that Zayd was my unborn child's father. I took a deep breath and turned around.

Much to my dismay, Zayd was no longer there. I looked up and saw him leaving the library. My heart sank immediately. I started feeling like the world was spinning around me. I had lost my chance of talking to Zayd. What if this was my last chance? What if I never see him again?

I decided to catch him before he left the building.

"Where are you going Ms. Yusuf?" the manager stopped me as I was getting out of the library. "You just had your lunch break. You can't leave the library until your shift is over."

"But I have to see someone," I told her.

"Ok you can go see them. But when you re-enter through this library door, you will no longer have a job. You decide. Is meeting someone more important to you or earning for your family?" she spoke in a cold tone.

Earning for my family.

I gave her a nod and walked back inside to where my book cart was sitting. I guess Allah had other plans.

After my shift was over, I got my bag and slid my badge on the sign out machine located in the manager's office.

I was about to leave the room when the manager called my name.

"Yes ma'am?" I replied.

"I am sorry about my cold behavior earlier. I just want everything to go according to how it's planned. I like to be fair to all my employees," she explained very politely.

"I understand, Mrs. Brown. You did the right thing," I told her.

"You're a very dedicated employee of mine. Thank you for your hard work," she smiled.

I smiled back. "Have a good day," I said and left her room.

I didn't tell Ayesha about my almost encounter with Zayd. It was better if I kept it to myself. That way I'll be able to forget about it sooner.

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6 months later

It had been 10 hours now and I was still not dilated enough. I had been in the hospital for about 15 hours now. I could feel contractions getting stronger and stronger. This is what mothers go through. Be patient. I would tell myself whenever I felt like giving up. Well, honestly, I couldn't just give up anymore.