Chapter Twenty-Three: Mind F*ck

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I stood there like an idiot for the longest time.

"Happy New Years, Jilly" Joshua says.

I realized a couple things during the moments after our kiss. The first being that either Joshua had been holding back, or not holding back enough, the first time that he kissed me. I vaguely remembered feeling my face being vacuumed of and hating the entire thing. This time had been different.

Partly because I actually liked Joshua now, possibly loved him, and because this kiss had been completely different itself. It hadn't been sloppy and demanding, the exact opposite. I had felt safe and comfortable, while it happened. Hell, I had even forgotten my damn name for a moment.

 The second thing that I realized was that I had officially made a new enemy, because when I turned, Gola's hard calculating face was trained directly on me. Gone were the tears, now replaced by the need for pure vengeance. I realized that I had underestimated Gola. The image of a dumb blonde bimbo was erased. Someone who looked so calculating couldn't be completely clueless.

 I felt Joshua's hand on my back, and turned in his direction. I could feel my face warming up, especially when I saw Martin Vance's gaze on me as well. Martin had the biggest smirk I had ever seen. He didn't break any eye contact, not even when he took a sip of the drink his hand. 

"I'll be right back. I have to take care of a few things, but I missed you, Jilly." Joshua whispered in my ear, before moving his gaze to meet mine and smiling. Jesus Christ, was I imagining all of this?

"Alright." I told him distractedly. My attention was still on Martin Vance, even though my heart was still going wild in my chest because of Joshua.  I noticed that Joshua had gone towards the direction leading to Jenna Lanning. He was probably going to apologize for being so late, I told myself. The eye contact between Martin and me was finally broken when Gola stepped directly into my line of vision.

I cannot forget to mention that she practically stomped her way over to me in a furry. I started to panic, thinking that maybe Gola was about to make a scene. Martin Vance was not going to get even more gossip about me. I needed to calm Gola down, I was already freaking out.

Martin Vance had definitely seen the kiss. Was he going to use it against Joshua? Against me? Why would he look so smug, though? I was a nobody. Who the fuck cared if I came out in a magazine kissing Joshua? Possibly my mom, but aside from anyone else, I doubted that it would be a huge deal. It was Joshua's career I was worried about.

 Damn, Lanning would also find a problem with it. I wasn't supposed to be making out with Joshua! Fuck, the stress was beginning to make me dizzy. Or was that the alcohol? I could finally feel the buzz setting in, at the exact moment that I needed all of my wits.

Hands on her hips, Gola spoke low, "You probably thought I was stupid."

Actually, yes. I'm sorry if my first impression of you fucking on a plane didn't leave me with the sense of you being a genius.

Those had been my exact thoughts, but I wasn't about to voice them. I could start to feel myself drifting in and out from complete sobriety.

Gola laughed bitterly, before continuing, "Well, you're the clueless one, you little bitch! Right now, you're probably thinking that Joshua actually missed you. Hell, you probably think that he feels the same way that you feel about him!" Gola's voice began to rise, with a hint of madness. Even though I was starting to feel drunk, I nodded my head to let Gola know that those weren't my thoughts.

Gola chuckled, in mock laughter, "Well, he fucking doesn't. You're just one more on his list. Remember something, bitch, I'll always be on top of that list. If you think that Joshua will ever be with a loser like you, then you're fucking mistaken. I'm taking you down. So, fuck you, bitch."  Gola was practically spitting the words out with all of the venom in her entire body.

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