Moving Forward

Chapter Four

"Maliah Cleopatra Moore! My gosh. I was calling you for an entire day. You had me worried."

I did an eye roll, "I'm fine, mother."

"I thought you've killed yourself or something. Why weren't you answering my phone calls?"

Really? Kill myself? My knuckles whitened from gripping the phone, "Why would I kill myself, mom? Why would I do that? I'm not like that. You always say that!"

This was the exact reason why I never answered her calls.  Her negativity.

"Honey, I read something about grief of a twin and it spoke about suicide of the other half. I think you're showing too many signs."

"What do you want mom?" I asked, ignoring her. Every time she called it was always something she read or heard. If I took her on, I probably wpuld have been dead.

"I know what today is and you are always moody. I don't know why you don't come home so I can take care of you."

"What do you want mom?"

"I just wanted to see if you're alive. Why don't you come visit me? I miss you."

Because you irritate me with your foolishness. I remained silent, hoping she would get the picture and hang up or something. But then again... it was my mother.

"Are you still going to that dreadful beach?" she continued. "I don't know why you torture yourself like that."

"Nothing's wrong with that beach mom, it is lovely and calming and all of my good memories are there."

"And horrible ones too. That beach took my only son and you would go back there as of you're glad or something. You need to get out and do other things. Stay away from that dreadful beach!"

"I'll do what I want."

She always blamed Store Bay for taking her favorite child and added that it felt like she lost two. Malik was always her favorite. She didn't consider that she held on too -- she and dad. They were in a mess as much as I was.

She continued to rant on the phone but I ignored most of it -- something I always did when she called. She would start off with negativity, bring up my isolation and how much I wasn't getting out there, come up with some botched idea to save me, and then complain about dad or something that happened. That was the cycle.

"I found a new therapist... She could help you Maliah..." she continued.

Oh! Here we go, "Goodbye mom." With that, I hung up.

She tried calling back and I turned off the phone, throwing it on the bed. That was the last straw. She knew I hated therapists but she would alway bring them up, saying that this one would be better that the last. And if it wasn't a therapist, it would be some other bizarre remedy. Last month she brought a spiritual healer by my apartment and the month before that, a herbal doctor. I was getting tired of her shenanigans.

Now she'd frustrated me with that therapist bullshit. Burying my face in the pillow I screamed into it as much as I could, inhaling and exhaling with every piercing scream. I did it enough times until I felt that I'd emptied my soul.

~~~~~

Ugh... What time was it?

Clearly the sun had set... I turned over, eyeing my window. The moonlight was bright enough to shed some light into my unlit room. I'd left the windows open earlier so my room could air out but now the night blew chilly breeze inside. The sunlight was no longer coming through my window. I must have slept for hours for it to be this dark. Not even my living room had lights. Clearly, I could have been robbed with all this darkness.

The clock on the kitchen wall said six-twenty which mean I'd basically slept through the entire day. "Oh, crap! I was to do the laundry! Ugh!"

My phone had five missed calls -- four from mom and one from Anya. I knew mom would have still blazed my phone even though she damned well knew I had turned it off. Atleast Anya  texted.

Anya @5:23p.m :
Hey girl, I now meet at home. Today was really hectic, gained 4 clients today. You have lots of work to do next week.

Anya @5:31p.m :
Sup? How are you feeling now?

Like crap...

Maliah @6:28p.m :
Hey, I'm good, now wake. About to go make some dinner and watch tv. Was wondering if you could help me with groceries on Saturday?

I waited ten minutes for a reply but didn't get one. Maybe she'd respond in a few, but in the mean time, I would make a hot cup of green tea and a sandwich. 

Then my phone chimed as I carried my tea and sandwich over to my small, three-piece dining table.

Anya replied, agreeing to help me with the groceries. Twice a month she would pick me up and carry me to the supermarket. On other days, if I needed anything, the corner shop was useful. My pantry was low, so her car space would definitely be needed. Her generosity saved my life. I always gave her money to help with the gas though...

After eating, I took a bath and settled on the couch to watch something. I had cable but only a few channels worked. Something the cable company said they would have worked on, but it had been eight months since the problem started. I never bothered to call back after my third reminder. I just paid the bill amount that I wanted to pay -- the amount the I believed they deserved. Surprisingly they hadn't cut me as yet. Maybe they understood.

The only thing showing with excitement was a reality show with two singers who were placed in a house together to make music. I used to watch it, but then it got too physical. Like, why would they even put two beds in one bedroom though? And one bath? Problems. Of course they would fight all the time.

I flipped the channel on the news station. They were finishing off the sports highlights when a knock shook my door.

No-one knew me and I'd paid my rent, so who on earth would be harassing me this hour? Anya? Nah... Slowly, I  got up off the couch, and grabbed a frying pan. I wasn't playing.  Weird people lived on this planet, and I wasn't about to be their victim.

"Who is it?" I yelled, stalking closer.

...

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