Back from the Brink (Book 2 of Arrow/SPN Crossovers)

Rebuilding Injured Friends Part 2

After Oliver left Diggle got into the other bed and actually fell asleep. He was pretty sure Sam wouldn't pull anything stupid at this point. Just in case he grabbed the Impala keys and tucked them under his pillow, Sam wouldn't be going anywhere.

Sam woke up a few hours later, his head had stopped feeling like a jackhammer was pounding on it. He actually felt a little hungry. He got up and saw that the guys had acquired some food earlier and put some away for him. As he dug through the fridge he found some salad and fruit and thought those were the safest choices for how his stomach felt. He found his phone and went into the other room. It was time he called Bobby himself.

Bobby answered on the second ring.

"Sam?"

The familiar, gruff voice brought a smile to Sam's face. "Yeah it's me Bobby."

"Why I should...God it's good to hear your voice." Rage fought with concern and relief in Bobby's voice.

"Your's too. I'm so..."

Bobby cut him off. "Don't you dare say that. No apology will make up for the the last month." Bobby snapped. Sam winced.

"Do you have any idea how worried I have been!? No one had seen you, no one knew where you were, you didn't answer your phone. I thought you had up and died. Then I get a call from your number and it's that rich vigilante guy saving your ass! You didn't have the guts to call me for help is that it? You run from the only person left that's close enough to you to be considered family and some guy from a job helps you! How do you think that makes me feel? Damn you self centered, idiotic Winchesters! You only think of your own selves, never about anyone else that might care for you! To top it off, he tells me you tried to kill yourself! How dare you after everything that happened? You know that sends you straight to hell! What you missed Dean so much you wanted to join him? Is that it?"

The words sounded in Sam's head, dragging up all the emotions again. His breathing became ragged. "Bobby, stop please, please stop. " He started saying over and over. Bobby stopped mid rant.

"Damn it Sam. Breathe boy breathe." Bobby's voice took on a more soothing tone.

Sam got control back, took a deep breath and started talking. "Bobby, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't function. Dean was screaming for me to help and I couldn't reach him. Lillith had me pinned against the wall. She took over the body Ruby was in, opened the door and let the hellhounds in. After he...he stopped screaming I just..... I remember burying him, I remember arguing with you about burning the bones and that's the last thing I really remember until the other day when I woke up here.

We're in a hotel in Lawrence, I was staying in a crappy motel just drinking. I beat the Impala all to hell, broke one of the windows and who knows what else. Things are starting to come back now but I just, I wanted to forget, I wanted it to be me. I know, I know it's stupid and it's the Winchester curse, we love too much I know but it's true. I didn't want to hunt, I didn't want to do anything that reminded me of Dean. Maybe that's why I didn't go to you for help. Too many memories, I don't know. I didn't mean to put you through all that. I don't even know why I came to Lawrence, maybe I just wanted to go home. This is the first time I have been coherent enough to call you since we buried Dean. " God how it hurt to say that.

"Oliver and his people dragged me here and have been watching over me. I abused their trust with something they gave Dean and I but he's still here trying to help. Who knows why. I guess he really appreciated what Dean and I told him and our help on that job. He considers me a friend for some reason, maybe because Dean and I understood him better than most. Anyway, he wants me to go with him and stay at some sort of cabin for awhile to heal. Whatever that means. I told him I would only stay a month. Even if I am still a complete wreck at the end of it no one else is going to sacrifice their life for mine. Oliver has his hands full with his own life, he doesn't need me cluttering it up." Sam stopped talking. He didn't know how to phrase the next part. "I don't know if I should go, what good would it do? When I realized I had tried to kill myself. Bobby, I almost threw Dean's sacrifice in his face. I'm not worthy of anyone's help. I'm a coward."