khan's deliverance | [ khan x reader ]

Day Eight: Crying.

"Lieutenant."

"Hm?"

"It's now six in the morning. Don't you want to return to your room soon? I think we've done enough talking for the rest of the day, and week."

You rolled your eyes, smiling slightly.
"Ha ha. Whatever. And yes, I was planning on retiring to my room, but at seven. I want to talk with Kyolla for a little while before I leave you completely." You laughed lightly, your vision trained on Khan's icy eyes once more.
"If you want me to leave, that's alright then." You said hurriedly, unknowingly wringing your hands. Khan shook his head, and you had to resist beaming. He actually wanted you to stay.

"Stay, Lieutenant, if you choose. I assumed you'd want to return to clean up if you had a desire to."

"No. I want to stay here with you."
You let out a deep breath and smiled, closing your eyes. You opened them once more, sliding the metal device over and retracting it so you could slide your hand through and clasp your fingers around Khan's.
"You're really stupid, you know that?" You murmured. Khan furrowed his brow.

"I am genetically-"

"No. Not intellect. Your decisions are stupid, and not thought through correctly because I don't think you know how people actually work."

Silence.
You sighed, rubbing your thumb over Khan's knuckles, glancing down at the ground as you adjusted the weight of your sitting position. You couldn't help but notice Khan's weak expression, and you frowned. You could tell he wasn't doing so well, not just because of the things you brought to his attention, but the fact that he is locked up in a cell and tested on, ridiculed, and viewed as a criminal. Anyone would snap under that pressure, anyone who knew that they thought they were doing well. And you knew Khan thought he was doing well, you knew he thought he was doing the right thing because who else is that determined and has their heart set on success, other than someone who believes they are doing right?

"__y/n__."

"Yes?"

"You cannot love me, I-"

"Not this agai-"

"No, listen! I am not someone who I would want you to be associated with. I am not stable, and-"

"I don't care! You listen! I am not leaving this ship, and you are not being killed or sent to prison, until I figure out a way to keep you safe, and a way to allow us to be together. Alright?"

"Lieutenant, there is no chance that StarFleet headquarters will allow me to live after the acts I have directly committed against them. If you try to change their minds, or if you try to save me, you will have the same bounty on your head as I. Do not do this, there isn't a way, so stop trying to find one..." Khan mumbled quietly, his head low and his spirits lower. You frowned and reached out to him, brushing his cheek with your thumb as you spoke.

"I don't care. I'm still going to try. I don't give up that easily, you know. I'm just a tiny bit stubborn."

Khan let out a deep chuckle and met your gaze. "A tiny bit, sure." You rolled your eyes with a smile and continued.

"You can't keep trying to push me away. Can you promise me you'll stop trying to convince me to leave you?" You asked softly, gazing at Khan as he sighed and glanced down, your hand sliding down his cheek slightly.

"I can't. I need to keep you safe, __y/n__, and I can't do that if you continue to pursue contact with me. You must stay safe, at all costs. I cannot lose you." Khan took your hand in his and kissed it softly, using his steady fingers and grip to curl your fingers into a fist, holding it as someone would hold a porcelain doll. You unfurled your fingers, clasping them with his and smiling softly.

"Staying safe is boring. I'd much rather be in danger and with you, then alone and safe."

"Lieute- __y/n__, there are many strong men in StarFleet whom you could choose to call your own, you do not have to be alone if I am gone."

"I don't really have a choice, though, do I? If you're gone, all I'll feel is alone. I-"

A loud shout caused you to yelp, pulling your hand away from Khan's quickly and swiping away the only hole that allowed you to feel Khan's warmth. You instantly missed the contact, as you ran over to the control panel, hiding under the board as loud footsteps echoed in the halls, approaching in the brig. Your heart rate skyrocketed as your breath became rapid, the unknown killing your sense of security with Khan.

"WHERE IS SHE?" You heard Kirk shout, and you cowered behind the panel, squeezing yourself and praying to whoever was listening to make you turn invisible. Khan spoke up.

"I don't know what you mea-"

"LET ME REPHRASE THAT. If you don't tell me what the hell you did to her to brainwash her into thinking you're the good guy here, I will send each and every one of those torpedoes flying into space this very MOMENT. Now, where is she."

Silence.

"Captain, I advise that you think this over before you do anything rash-" Spock interjected.

"SPOCK. I can handle this myself, your services aren't needed right now. Return to the bridge."

"Yes, Captain."

You poked your head out from behind the control panel slowly, watching Spock leave with a distasteful look in his eye. Kirk was acting out of control. You needed to keep him from hurting anyone else. You had to sacrifice yourself to save Khan's life, and his spot aboard this ship. You quietly clambered up, and a look of horror overtook Khan's face as you cleared your throat, turning the heads of Kirk, and three bulky crew members. You swallowed, rubbing your arm.

"Hi there?" You murmured, a small scared, half-smile escaping your lips. Kirk's face dropped. You backed up slightly, frowning as Kirk approached, a look of hatred on his face and features as he grabbed your wrist, jerking you towards him as you yelped.

"James-!"

"NO. You are coming with me this instant and I am never allowing you to see this man again. He is DANGEROUS. You're coming with me-"

"NO!" You shouted, glaring at Kirk and pulling your arm away from him, stepping back.
"No. I'm not coming with you. I'm staying. I-"

"__y/n__." Khan murmured softly, and your head snapped over to look at him. He had tears streaking his face, and you whimpered.

"Khan, I-"

"You need to go with him."

You choked out a laugh, tears brimming your eyes. You couldn't believe it.
"No way. I'm not leaving you with whatever maniac Kirk puts you with under maximum security."

"Listen to him, Sunshine. He knows what's best for you-"

You whipped around, growling. "NO! None of you know what's best for me, none of you! I know what I want and what I should do and what's best for me! Not any of you! Kirk, let me stay!" You pleaded, your muscles weak and your facade crumbling. You couldn't hold up much longer, you couldn't. And when you failed, you'd lose Khan.

"Grab her."

"NO! KHAN!" You sobbed as two of the men gripped your arms tightly, dragging you out of the room as you kicked and shouted.

You suddenly made eye contact with Khan's crestfallen face, his eyes red. He blinked twice slowly.

It's better this way, he mouthed.

The shouting stopped and the crying began.

You'd never be able to see Khan again.