khan's deliverance | [ khan x reader ]

Day Four: Calming.

"Lieutenant."

You scowled, crossing your arms. You were not speaking with that man, not today, not any following day. He had exploded at Kyolla, the Ensign, once again while you were away the day before. You couldn't believe it. You couldn't leave this man for one moment without him breaking something or hurting someone's feelings! He needed to know that it was unacceptable for him to do those things, to act that way. You didn't care that "StarFleet was the enemy" to him. If that was true, you were his enemy as well.

As soon as your stitches healed up and your knuckles healed over you were getting your ass out of that guard position. In reference to your knuckles, you thought that Khan very well needed some discipline, so you gave it to him. You didn't even care that he would heal quickly. It'd sting him for the moment. And if you needed, you'd sure as hell break open your knuckles more if it meant getting something through that crazy man's head.

"Lieutenant. Please listen to me."

You turned further away from him, drawing another tally mark on the sheet of paper you were holding of how many times he called you Lieutenant, like he had forgotten your name or something. You couldn't believe it.

"Khan, I don't think-"

"__y/n__. Please."

Your name. He finally said it after fifteen times he called you Lieutenant. No one has ever said "fifteenth's the charm". Ever. And when he said it, he pleaded. Not a demanding need for attention, it was like a cry for help from someone broken, and lost. Your heart clenched, broken by the emotion in the man's words. You finally saw the image of a man who's crew is in danger, he is locked in a cell, and the woman he claims to love isn't speaking to him. The loss in his tone was evident. But you couldn't give in, not now. He'd think he had won. You just had to stick it out for today, and then be normal tomorrow. As if nothing happened, but you'd be sure to bring it up softly and carefully.

You took the rest of the day off on your shift, leaving Kyolla in charge of Khan. You knew it was risky, but if that man broke that sweet girl again, he knew something harsh was coming for him. You spent the day in your room, lingering on thoughts and feelings that swam through your mind. Even after a long cold shower you couldn't piece together the things that were running through your mind, deciphering them seemed impossible.

You realized the Ensign had been at your post all day. You had better take the night shift, Khan would be sleeping anyway, and you weren't tired. Avoiding him would be almost too easy. So, you slipped on comfortable jeans, a tank top, and a sweatshirt, just in case you got tired and fell asleep, and started making your way down to the holding brig. You heard Kyolla's voice before you entered.

"Yes, Captain. The prisoner is asleep."

She didn't use Khan's name. Good girl.

"Yes. Right away sir. I'll send for another-"

"No need." You interrupted, smiling.

"I got it. You've worked long enough at my job, I need to do my hours. Thank you, by the way."

Kyolla smiled brightly, pressing a button on the main control panel and speaking into a microphone.

"Lieutenant __y/n__'s got it. Don't worry Captain, she's fully capable."

A mix between a grumble and a scoff sounded through the speaker.

"Alright, Ensign. I'm trusting you."

You rolled your eyes. He knew that you could take care of yourself, he was just flirting most likely. You waved goodbye to Kyolla, smiling. Ah, bliss. Being alone with a handsome man. Of course he was sleeping, but it was better that way. Whenever he opened his mouth he sounded like a robot, using large words. It's not like you couldn't understand him of course, but sometime he needed to use words that were less than ten letters long. There's no one here for him to impress, no English major that would be offended if he used smaller words.

You smiled softly at your own thoughts, and glanced over at the sleeping form of Khan. You frowned slightly, resting your head on your hand and gazing. His muscles were all relaxed, his face peaceful. The whole brig was dark, but the light from the halls adjacent shone a few rays of light on his body. His hair hung over his face, the first time you had seen it unruly, not including your encounter on Kronos. His arms hung loosely around himself, his legs pulled closely to his body. He looked calm and peaceful and secure, despite the lack of any proper bedding materials or pillows. You frowned slightly. What would it be like to be chased away from home and placed in an uncomfortable prison, with minimal food and minimal human contact or interaction? After all, the only people who ever talked to him kindly were you and Kyolla. And he had managed to scare her, and anger you. He just didn't seem to understand anything.

You slipped off your sweatshirt, as the holding brig was starting to become warm. You yawned, stretching out your limbs and glancing back towards Khan. You sighed. You hated when you had sudden urges to do things. You stood up, sliding the metal hole in the glass closer to the center, and enlarging it to the point you could step through it. You stood staring at Khan for a moment, unsure. You bundled up your sweatshirt into a ball, and kneeled down by Khan's cot. You lifted up his head gently, placing the sweatshirt under it slowly. You carefully set his head back down, and started to stand up. But suddenly, Khan started to seize up, his legs twitching, and you noticed the familiarity of his legs moving to running. Your eyes fell on his face, and you could see his eyes moving behind his lids rapidly, his face contorting. A nightmare. You frantically searched your mind to help ease his pain, knowing that there was a definite downfall to waking someone up from a nightmare. You gripped his hand tightly, praying that his nightmare would cease to be.

It continued.

You thought of other possibilities as Khan gripped your hand back, his knuckles turning white as you fought not to cry out in pain from his tight hold on your hand. You sat up, leaning over the cot and kissing Khan softly on the lips, hoping that he wouldn't freak while still in nightmare mode. His breathing slowed, and his death grip on your hand loosened up exponentially. You sighed in relief and smiled, rubbing the back of Khan's hand with your thumb. His eyes slowly opened, and he swallowed.

"__y/n__..."

"You were having a nightmare."

"I know. I understand that. Will you lay with me, just for a moment?" He pleaded, and you noticed the fear in his eyes, the sweat that beaded on his face. You nodded slowly and crawled onto the small cot, wrapping your arms around Khan's waist. He placed his lips on your ear, kissing it lightly.

"Is this your jacket?" He whispered softly.

"Mhm..." You murmured back.

You felt him smile against your hair.

"It smells like you, Lieutenant..."

You closed your eyes and smiled, burying your face into Khan's chest as you felt his arms wrap tighter around you, seemingly in protection. But only the pair of you knew it was the other way around with who needed the protection that night. You gripped Khan's shirt tightly, never wanting to let go.

"I'm falling in love with you, Khan." You murmured softly, taking to heart your words. You wouldn't utter them otherwise.

"I know I am in love with you. I love you more than all the stars in this vast universe, __y/n__. More than them all. Goodnight."

The pair of you slept soundly the entire night, in each other's arms.