"And we had sex! More than once by now!" I exclaim to Ashley.
"You guys had sex?!" She whisper-yells, smiling.
"Yeah! The first time was in the bunk him and I share after I had caught him having sex with another girl in the maze of the busses-"
"Why did you have sex with him after his dick was in another woman?" Ashley gives me a disgusting face, "especially for your first time with him!"
"I don't know, he's just.. He's so ahhhh," I laugh, there are just no words to describe him.
"Go on, sorry I interrupted you,"
"Right, the second time we were on a beach at night," I say.
"On a beach? How romantic, just you guys and the waves," Ashley grins.
"Yeah but after, we were laying together on the sand and like I was so close to him and I asked if I could tell the guys, just the guys, his band mates what was going on between us right," I say.
"Yeah," She nods her head.
"But then he goes and says, there's nothing going on, and said it so smoothly and simple like he doesn't think it's a big thing," I exclaim, becoming angry.
"What the heck? I think fucking your best friend is a huge thing," Ashley furrows her brows in frustration.
"I know!!! That just made me feels as if I was just one of the groupies the guys fuck and chuck," I shrug disappointingly.
"Does he always make you feel that way? When was the last time you guys had sex?" She asks me, drinking from her water.
"Last night, but lately he's been having sex with other girls,"
"Have you caught him?"
"Well, no but he always has fresh hickeys on his body, ones that I don't put on him," I frown.
"Well how are you and TJ?" She questions.
"Honestly if I didn't love Andy I'd be with TJ, but my feelings for Andy have just been sky rocketing and all the time I'm telling myself to be with TJ, but then Andy and I spend time together and I ask myself, what am I thinking? I can't be with TJ if I love Andy, and I know I'm leading TJ on, but he makes me happy, but Andy does too and just I'm so confused and stuck, I know I can't let Andy go, but I've grown so attached to TJ, I just feel bad," I ramble on, letting it all out.
"Do you want my honesty?" Ashley looks me in the eyes.
"Yes, please be brutally honest with me," I tell her.
"Move on from Andy, and I love Andy to death he's a great friend of mine but, he doesn't deserve your love if he's just going to treat you like every other girl, but TJ treats you like you're the only girl in the world, like you're the only one he sees, he has his mind and heart set on you, TJ's a great friend of mine too so all I can ask from you is, please, don't hurt TJ,"
"That's the problem, I love Andy too much to move on, that's just that," I say sadly.
"You'll figure this out Racheal, but for now focus on yourself and what you want,"
"I want Andy," I sigh, "but I also want TJ,"
"But you don't have to be with anyone, be single, it's great!" Ashley laughs.
"I suppose it is," I laugh with her, "thank you for listening to my problems.. again,"
"No worries, you know you can always talk to me," Ashley hugs me.
"Thank you,"
"Oh we got some girl on girl action going.. hot," We hear Ashley come on the bus.
"You're gross," Ashley tells him.
"You're gross," Ashley mimics her.
"My two favourite Ashley's shouldn't be bickering," I laugh.
"I'll catch ya later," Ashley tells me.
"Okay, see ya," I say to her as she walks off the bus.
"What were you girls talking about?" Ashley sits down with his beer.
"Girl talk," I shrug, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.
"Come on I'm a girl, I got long hair," Ashley flips hair off of his shoulder.
"You really wanna know?" I laugh.
"Why not," He shrugs, smiling at me.
I tell Ashley everything about Andy and I, and TJ.
"Holy fuck, you and Andrew have been fucking!" Ashley shouts.
"Be quiet someone might hear you!!" I hush him.
We hear the bus door open and in floods the boys, I look at them but don't spot Andy.
"Where's Andy?" I ask the guys.
"I don't know," Jake shrugs.
"I think I saw him walking off with some girl," Jinxx says, shrugging.
"Holy fuck Racheal and Andy are fuck buddies!!" Ashley blurts out.
"Ashley!!" I scold. "I told you in confidence that you weren't gonna tell anyone!!"
"Holy shit you and Andy?!" CC looks at me.
"Wait, have you guys done it in any of our bunks?" Jinxx stares at me.
"No! Well.. Maybe CC's, Andy thought it'd be funny," I feel my face go hot.
"Oh ew! Now I gotta change the blankets! I've been sleeping in your guys' sex juices and possibly jizz!" CC whines.
I end up telling them how I feel about Andy and how bad he's making me feel. I didn't wanna tell them but I just had my emotions bottled up that I just kept talking and talking about it to them.
"Man.. That's harsh," Jake says softly.
"Yup.." I raise my brows as I nod.
"Move on," Jinxx shrugs at me.
"Yeah, if he's making you feel shitty about yourself then be with TJ, Andy's a buddy and all but no one should feel the way you do, especially since you love the guy," CC looks at me.
"I guess so," I shrug, confused.
"Whatever you decide, we'll support you," Ashley hugs me.
"Thank you,"
"Now if you choose to continue being fuck buddies," CC stands up, "do not fuck in my bunk!"
"Okay," I laugh, "no promises,"
CC chuckles messes my hair up.
"Now if you excuse me, I've got some sheets to throw away and burn," CC walks to the back.
I'm kind of glad(ish) that I told the guys what's going on, I can now freely talk to them about it. They had promised me before that they wouldn't mention any of it to Andy, I just hope to god they meant it.
YOU ARE READING
Beautiful Remains
Fanfiction"Because I'm afraid that if I see you cry in front of me, I'll apologize and beg for you to be mine, but I can't do that," "Why not?" "I can't hurt you more than I already have,"
