July Raine

So, how does this work?

It was very peaceful for a few moments as we watched her play, but I knew that the moment couldn't last forever. We were not the same two people who sat on the dock six years ago. A lot had changed, and we have made different life decisions. Just because we felt something for someone six years ago doesn't mean those feelings are still there. Life throws us curve balls, and six years ago that is what happened to me. I just wanted him to know his daughter.  I wanted her to know him, but that decision was not up to me, he had to want it for himself. He had to want her and these were decision that weren't easy, especially when a five year old is involved.

It is funny, how things can seem to be the same as they used to be just for a little while.Then, I realize I don't really know someone anymore. I had that realization in that moment. I stood up from the dock and straighten my dress. He looked up at me and I think he realized it too. He quickly stood.

He looked at me as if he wanted to speak. He looked at me for several moments.

"So, how does this work.?"

I was confused by his words, as simple as they were. "How does what work?"

"Me getting to know my daughter."

I couldn't help but smile. " I don't really know, I hadn't thought that far ahead, because honestly I never thought I'd see you again. It is kind of ironic that you are here. This is the first time that July has ever asked if I thought you'd come for us this year."

He gave me a questioning look. " Us?"

My heart sank, I don't know why it did. I always knew that if he did come into her life, it wasn't as if we were going to be a happy family. I mean come on we were sixteen, young, stupid and careless. Not to say that I regret having July, I just wish she would have came a long when I was older. When I was married, stable, and I didn't have to struggle so much. She's had to live without a dad because of a careless mistake that I made over and over one summer, it is no wonder I ended up pregnant. We were stupid kids.

"She is five, she doesn't understand that..when you come back in her life that... I'm trying to figure out how to say this right... that it doesn't mean that you are coming back into my life. Do you understand what I am trying to say?"

He smiled, "I understand" I wanted the subject to change.

"Her name is July Raine... Barbacosa.."

"You gave her my last name, even though you couldn't find me?"

"I told you, I wanted her to know you, and it was the best that I could do at the time."

"So, I know I didn't say anything before when you said you didn't move, but... who do you think wrote me that letter?"

"By looking at the handwriting, I'm going to say my mom."

"Why would she do that?"

"I dunno, but I'm going to find out. Would you get July and come with me."

"What are you going to do?"

"My mom is here, and I want to know why I missed out on you being pregnant and giving birth to our daughter, why I missed her first steps, her first words, her first everything!" This had really gotten him into a tail spin. I wasn't sure what he was about to do was a good idea, but for some reason, I called July over. She seemed very confused for a moment, and then really didn't seem to care. I picked her up and for some strange reason, Rainey grabbed my hand and began almost pulling me along, I didn't like that feeling so I picked up the pace. In no time, we were walking through the front gates of a cabin. There was lawn furniture filled with people, his sister Abby and who I assumed to be her husband, their baby, Rainey's mom and man I didn't reconize, and a few guys that look to be about my age. Rainey let go of my hand and approached his mom.