July Raine

Not our first rodeo

He didn't wait for me to speak. He grabbed my face with his free hand and pulled me into a deep passionate kiss. I didn't know what to do so I gave in. He dropped the flowers to my side and before I knew it, he had me against the door.

This wasn't the first time he had me in this position. He kissed down my neck and I couldn't help to remember the last time this happened. How did we always end up at this point. I couldn't decide if I was lusting after him or if I might be in love with him. In the moment of passion I didn't really care which it was.

Somehow we managed to make our way into the cabin. I wasn't sure how it happened because we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I felt like we were teenagers who were  home alone for the first time. When he kissed me I could hardly think. I was trying to think rationally trying to will myself to tell him we needed to slow down. I couldn't. When I was with Maddy, I felt like my brain went to mush and my knees were weak.

For the next two hours I all could do is not think over and over again. In the heat of the moment Maddy something that rocked me to the core. " I love you Melonie." At first I was freaked out. Then he whispered again. " I just wanted you to know." He held me in his arms and I couldn't even speak. I could barely think. The words I love you were running through my head over and over.

I let out a groan of frustration. When I did this leaned up on his elbow and down over me and he did something that made me want to thump him on the head. He laughed. He outright laughed.

" I know that only makes things more complicated but I can't hold it in anymore. I can't keep lying to you and I can't keep lying to myself. I want you to be happy, but I really just want to be selfish all at the same time."  He leaned down and kissed one cheek and then the other, then my nose and my collar bone. " I can't help wanting you all to myself Mels."

"Why does this have to be so complicated Maddy?"

I kept watching him. I giggled when he started kissing all over my neck.

He leaned up again. " I ask myself that same question all the time."

I let out a sigh. He let a mockingly let out a somewhat similar sigh.

"Maddy."

"Yeah?"

"Don't be mad..."

I was quickly interrupted. " Mel it's okay I understand."

The thing was he didn't understand. " Maddy I need you to listen to me very carefully. It's not that I don't love you. It is just now is not the best time for this. We both know that."

He rolled over onto his back in one smooth motion, grabbed his pillow, put it over his face and groaned in frustration.

I took this time to decide to let him have some time to think. Heck, I needed time to think. Maddy had told me he loved me. He...loved...me. Deep down inside I knew I loved him too, but I had a feeling that I also loved Rainey. I knew I didn't love them in the same way, but I didn't really know what that meant. All I knew is that one, very soon, I'd have to figure it out.  

I really wanted the mood in the room to lighten.

" I need a shower, why don't you go Betty Crocker something in the kitchen." I giggled at the thought of him baking cookies in an apron nude. I wasn't sure why this was what I was picturing but it definitely crossed my mind.

He groaned again and waved his arm at me and pointed towards the bathroom door. He never once took his head out from under the pillow.

I slipped out of the bed and made my way to the bathroom with the sheet snuggly wrapped around me. I looked back over my shoulder to see if he was looking. At this point he had the pillow off his face and was looking at me with a grin on his face. 

I rolled my eyes and closed the bathroom door behind me.

After spending so much time in the shower, I wondered if Maddy had possibly left. I wouldn't have blamed him, I had practically abandoned him for a long shower.

I quietly check to see if Maddy was still in the cabin. Surprisingly he was. He was sprawled out on the couch reading a magazine. He seemed pretty set on staying. I didn't want him to have to wait much longer so  I quickly blow dried my hair and put it up into a messy bun and threw on some pajama pants and a tank top. I felt like I could be myself around Maddy. I didn't feel like it mattered to him what I looked like.

He must have heard me in the bathroom because when I came out he had placed two cups of coffee and a plate of cookies on the coffee table that had not been there previously.

As I was walked towards him he looked at me over the magazine that he was back to reading. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. " You look beautiful, especially with that new hair do."

"Oh.... you only think I look beautiful now that I have a new hair color and cut."

He smiled a big toothy grin. He looked so mischievous and I knew why when I heard the next thing he had to say. " You are absolutely right."

My eyes got so wide and my mouth flew open. I threw the couch pillow at him and he just laughed. He laughed so hard I thought he might fall off the couch.

I had decided that he was really going to get it. I walked towards him and had every intention of thumping him in the head.  When I got nearer to the couch, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down on top on him. He held my arms to the side while bear hugging me. In a playful way he kissed my cheeks, my neck. I scrunched up my face and tired hard not to giggle. He was such a pain in my rear.

After several moments he stopped and looked me right in the eye. He let go of my arms and I braced myself on the couch to look at him. " I've thought you were beautiful from the moment I saw you."

I couldn't help but smile. It was a really sweet gesture. I had known he was only playing when he said what he said earlier. That was just his personality. When things seem too serious he becomes a comedian. It was one thing that I had really come to adore about him.

I kissed his cheek and got up off the couch. I playfully kicked his feet. " Stop hogging the couch."

I grabbed a cup of coffee and cookie as I waited for him to take it sweet time sitting up. He sat with his feet on the couch and I saw opposite him with our feet touching and intertwining. He threw a blanket over our feet and grabbed a cup of coffee himself.

"How was your day?"

That seemed like a loaded question considering all that had happened, so I focused on July.

"July and I had a really good day. We had so much fun. We really needed the time together."  Thinking about our day just made me smile. I loved every moment with her. I really appreciated my time with her more now that I wasn't spending as much time with her.

" I love how you smile when you talk about July."  This made me smile even more.

"Well, you are the same way when you talk about Titus."

At the sound of his son's name Maddy's face lit up. There was no denying how much he loved Titus. Maddy was a good dad. No one could ever dispute that, he would travel to the moon and back for him. 

"So I hear that Titus has a crush on July."  I burst out laughing.

Maddy gave me a curious look and then ask. "What?"

"July does not reciprocate the feelings."

"Good, that would just be awkward." This caused us both to laugh. I knew what he meant by that, but I didn't say anything. I just let that moment pass.

Maddy and I talked for a few more hours and I started to feel myself drifting off into sleep. I felt Maddy moving on the couch. He moved behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

" I love you Mels"

Without giving it a second thought, I said something that I might regret in the morning. " I love you too Maddy."  I felt him hold me tighter and kiss the back of my head and I closed my eyes and went to sleep feeling happy.