July Raine

Skittles

I stopped my laughter as soon as I saw her. July was standing with her hand on her hip with a curious look on her face. I quickly jumped off of Maddy's back. So quickly that he didn't even know at happened. I felt him trying to grab me as if I were falling.

I ever so gracefully grabbed July up and hugged her so tightly. I had missed her so much. "Sweetie, Maddy and I were just goofing around."

"Mommy, I've never seen you goofing around before." She looked at me as if confused, and the moment passed, her attention had shifted in a flash.  She was five years old after all, not the greatest attention span. " Daddy and I have been having so much fun this morning. We have played so many different games." 

Her words made me smile. 

"Where is your daddy now?"

"He said he needed  a rest."

I just shook my head and let out a chuckle. "Resting huh, you wear him out?"

She nodded her head and I put her down.

"I'm going to go find you daddy. You stay out here and play."

I looked over at Maddy, he was bent down tying his shoe. When he looked up, I spoke. "Could you keep an eye are her ?"

He stood up and crossed his arms and looked down at July with a serious look on his face. July had her arms crossed looking up at him.    "Mr. Maddy, can we goof around too?"

With that a smiled spread across Maddy's face. "Sure" He bent down, so she could get on his back. "Hop on little skittle."

"Hey, how did you know I love skittles?"

He laughed, "Just a hunch."

"Can we go find skittles?"

I watched as they interacted with one another. I could tell that Maddy was a dad. He just knew how to interact with kids.  Maddy looked over at me and repeated what July said. "Can we go find skittles?"  He said it almost in a way as if he wanted skittles too. 

"Yeah go ahead, they probably have some down at the store down by the golf course. Its a pretty short walk."

He smiled a big smile almost to the point of showing his teeth. "You sure you want to go get skittles?"

She bounced on his back. "Yes, Yes!" 

With that, they were off. I watched as they walked away, July was talking non-stop as they walked down the path towards the store. I watched as they walked down the path into the distance until they I could no longer see them as they reached the bend in the road. I kept watching even though I could not see them. I could hear in the distance, giggles that I knew belonged to July. After several moments I could no longer hear them. 

I kept watching until I was startled by someone speaking.

"What are you doing? Where is July?"

I couldn't believe he didn't know where July was. " Shouldn't you know where July is?"

He walked over to Patrick,. I hadn't noticed him sleeping in a lounge chair. Rainey kicked the chair and Patrick was abruptly awaken.

"Where is July? You were supposed to be watching her."

Patrick rubbed his eyes. "She was here just a minute ago." He laid back down and closed his eyes.

"Wow he is really concerned."

Rainey looked at me with a paniced look on his face. I really couldn't let him suffer even though he deserved it. I let July play by herself all the time, but in a fensed in backyard, which I kept an eye on her out the window, usually as I washed dishes.

"Rainey, she is fine. She went with Maddy to find some skittles."

His face dropped, but looked relieved. "Why didn't you tell me that sooner."

"I shouldn't have to tell you where she is when she is in your care."

He nodded his head. "Your right, I'm sorry." His eyes dropped. " Does this mean you won't leave her with me again." He looked nervous and anxious.

" You are being a little overly dramatic about this." I smiled at him and the corner of his mouth turned up. " It just means that next time you leave her with someone else, you have to make sure you can trust that they aren't going to go to sleep." I said it loud enough for Patrick to hear. 

"Hey I'm not asleep, I can hear you talking about me." Patrick said from the chair. 

With that Rainey changed the subject. "July gets up really early and she ugh.. talks a lot."

I couldn't help but laugh and nod my head. " I guess I should have warned you."

" I don't know how you do it."

"Lots and lots of practice."

He tilted his head slightly to the side and looked at me in a way that I did not understand. He looked almost sad. The longer I looked at him, the more I tried to understand what he was thinking, but the longer I looked, the less I understood. 

When he spoke, I no longer had to wonder. " I wish I could have been there for all the practice."

His words made me emotional, but I kept myself from crying. I didn't want to just keep crying over something that could not be changed. I brushed a tear away before it could be seen.

"I wish you could have been there too, but there is nothing we can do about that now. We just need to move past it. Can we move forward from here?"

I held out my hand as a symbol of an agreement. He looked at my hand as if he wasn't sure what he was supposed to with it. Then, he took my hand in to his and shook it firmly. Once the hand shake was finished he did not let go of my hand. He intertwined our fingers together. I wasn't sure what to do or feel. I couldn't bring myself to look at him while this was happening. I was relieved when he let go of my hand, but then he pulled me into a hug. It wasn't like hugging Maddy, it was somewhat awkward. While trying to pull away, I looked up at him. I swear he was going to kiss me and all I could do was turn my head and pretend like I didn't know what he was about to do. I hugged back into him to try and not make the situation anymore awkward than it had to be. I don't know what the problem was. I had once been so attracted to him.

Maybe the moment just wasn't right. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to come from all this. Did I want to ever get with Rainey? Would that be the best thing for July?  Why couldn't things be less complicated?

I finally pulled away and smiled up at him. Again, trying to make things seem normal.

Out of the blue I said something that surprised me. I didn't even know where it came from.

"Rainey, eventually we will work everything out."  I wasn't really sure what that meant, but I did believe that one way or another things would work out for the best.

" I hope you are right."  He brushed some hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear.

I wasn't sure what he was thinking all of a sudden. He had barely talked to me since I arrived, and now all of a sudden he is trying to put the moves on me. This wasn't the same Rainey I knew when I was sixteen. He was so nervous that first time he tried to hold my hand, or kiss me.

Now he was confident, over confident if I might  add. I'm sure this had come with age and experience. For me all these things were so personal because I'd only ever been with Rainey. He on the other hand has apparently been with many women.

I had never been so happy as I was the moment I saw Maddy coming back with July. I don't know if I was just glad to see Maddy, or if it was because I didn't want to be alone with Rainey anymore.

I had one more thing to say to Rainey before Maddy got back with July. I turned back to him and looked him square in the face.

"My parents want to meet you."

At that moment I'd never seen any ones eyes get so big in my life. It was as if he stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say Rainey Barbacosa was scared to meet my parents.