Alive (Sequel to Breathing)

Prologue

Prologue

"Mommy is daddy coming?"

"He should be here any minute sweetie"

"Can I take buzz?"

"Of course. Mommy packed your blanket and your pencils also. Daddy will let you color while he works. Don't forget to use the potty before bed ok?"

"I won't. Will daddy let me watch toy story?"

"I'm sure he will. He knows how much you love it" He grinned and I turned to grab his bag.

"Daddy says we are going to see nana in England for Christmas!"

"What?" Harry hadn't mentioned taking Aidan to see his mom.

"Yea he said me, you, and him will fly in a plane and nana will be waiting for us"

"Go get your jacket baby"

"He said you still love him and he loves you. Even though he can't live with us"

"Aidan daddy has an active imagination much like you. Now go get your jacket ok?" Harry was unbelievable.

He nodded walking back towards his room and I double checked his over night bag. In the middle of making sure he had a couple extra t-shirts I heard a knock.

"Coming" I walked to the door and opened it. I had told myself it would get easier seeing him, but it was still too soon to believe it. He was just as handsome as always. His familiar black jeans and boots. He was wearing one of the flannels I had bought on our trip to California almost 4 years ago.

"Hey"

"He's just getting his jacket"

I handed him the bag.

"Ok. Did you put the inhaler in here this time?"

"Yea it's one you can keep at your place. Sorry about last time I had switched bags and forgot to transfer it over"

"It's ok. He didn't need it. I just want to make sure it's there if he does"

I nodded crossing my arms. Aidan was taking his sweet time.

"Aidan! Baby come on daddy's waiting"

"You look good"

"Thanks." He was making a habit of giving me some kind of complement every time he saw me and it was making the situation that much harder.

"How have you been?"

"Same as always"

He nodded.

"You know I miss you right?"

"Harry please don't" I closed my eyes. Every other weekend he would pick up Aidan. At some point either during the pick up or drop off he made sure I knew that he was missing me. That didn't change what he did though.

"I know you've asked me not to say that, but I can't help it. It's true and I don't know how many times I can say I'm sorry before you believe me"

"Stop. Please just stop Harry" I wanted to believe him. He said he would never hurt me and I wanted to believe that was true, but the proof had been clear as day. I couldn't ignore it if I wanted to.

"Char I love you and-"

"Stop! And stop telling Aidan we will get back together. You're confusing him"

"It wouldn't be confusing him if you just came back to me. I want things back the way they were. I want you back Charlie" he reached for my hand and I pulled away.

"Why did you tell him you were taking us to England? Do you know how disappointed he will be when he finds out it's not true?"

"I want to take him and you. My mum wants to see all of us and-"

"Have you even told her Harry?"

He looked away and I knew the answer.

"I don't like lying to my mum. Telling her you left me would hurt her more than you know and I refuse to give up on us"

"Well you should of thought about that before you fu-"

"Daddy!" Aidan ran up, jumping into his arms.

"Hey little man"

"I'm not little. I'm 3" he held up his fingers so close Harry had to lean his head back.

"How could I forget. You're almost as old as me."

"No I'm not!" He laughed. "You're old!"

"Ouch! I thought I looked good for my age"

"Aidan wear your jacket. It's starting to get cold outside. If you get that pain in your chest like last time. Ask daddy for your inhaler ok?"

"Ok mommy"

"Give me a hug and kiss please"

He leaned out of Harry's arms hugging me. I kissed his forehead and he kissed my cheek.

"I love you. Be good"

"I love you too. Bye mommy"

"Bye baby"

"See ya later Charlie"

"Bye" I stepped back, closing the door.

I looked around the small apartment. It was lonely without Aidan. I hated him being gone for the entire weekend, but it was the agreement Harry and I had come to. He gets him every other weekend and twice during the week.

I picked up a couple of action figures Aidan left in the floor. I sat them on the table as I sat back on the couch. I grabbed my phone to text Lo. Maybe she could keep me company. No matter what I knew if I didn't keep myself busy. I would spend the weekend curled up on the couch. Crying about my failing marriage and broken family. The one thing I never wanted to happen did and it was going to be a while before I could move on.