Alive (Sequel to Breathing)

Be nice to nice...

I would just like to say that your words were heard loud and clear. I've read every single message, some of them more than once, because I can't get over how sweet you all are. Please know that my decision was not an easy one and you all aren't the only ones affected by it. I want nothing more than to enjoy writing. I want to enjoy taking the little spare time that I have and spending it writing an update that I hope will leave you on the edge of your seats. I can't say thank you enough for the support you all have given me. From Breathing to Alive. You all have been there and it's a beautiful thing to have people I've never met tell me I've inspired them or that they look forward to my updates. I understand why some of you are frustrated. You're not alone. I was just as frustrated. That's why I made my decision. Which is not something I'm proud of. Instead of taking the advice I've given to many of my friends and to some of you when you when you've messaged me, I didn't ignore the hate. I let it eat at me and it added to the everyday stress that I battle and I questioned why I was doing this anymore. Not to mention this past week in our 1D family has been absolutely insane.

I just have to point out that words hurt. Think about the things that you comment. Think about the time it takes to write these updates. It's not as easy as some may believe. I sometimes re-write chapters 3 or 4 times before I get it right. I've actually written up to 11 versions of one chapter before I was finally was satisfied. Now think about going through that and then having someone complain about the length.. Or maybe the time it took to update.. Even worse, think about having someone rip it apart saying it's just a bad chapter over all. We all have opinions and thoughts about things. Just think before you comment "is this opinion promoting positivity?" Is it going to help or could it possibly be the final straw after a crappy day or week or month that causes them to break down. And I definitely don't expect you to love every single thing I put into this story. You're allowed to dislike things about it. Just chose your words carefully when you comment. I can't respond to every single comment, but I try to read as many as possible. I don't want to stop doing that, but if that's the only way I can get through this book I will.

I made a decision yesterday morning out of anger. I forgot why I was doing this and I acted without thinking it through. I regret that. No, it wasn't an April fools joke. I would never joke about something like this. I took what I did very serious and as soon as I posted that final note, I cried. My heart hurt that something I once loved had suddenly become something that made me sad. It used to be what I turned to after a long hard day and I wanted to escape from whatever I was going through, I would write. I want that back. I want my escape back. I want to enjoy updating. Not feel like it's a chore or wonder what hateful thing will be said about this chapter.

Please remember you don't pay for this. You chose to read it or you can choose not to read it. If I bore you or disappoint you at some point, I would much rather you move on than start commenting hurtful things. Just like you don't pay to read it, I don't get paid to write it. I literally do it for YOU. I spend MY time thinking of all kinds of crazy plot twist and loops to throw you for, out of the love of entertaining you all.

I don't want this to be the end of Alive. I want to finish this story for you guys. But I also want to finish it for myself. Breathing was the first writing project I have ever posted for anyone to read. I refused to let friends or family read any of my work, but I opened myself up to you all. I pushed my fears aside and decided to give it a chance. I created my Pen Name so no one I knew would find me and I let my imagination run wild. Before I knew it I had an obscene amount of reads and votes. Of course with the support came the negative attitudes of some and you all have no idea how many times I almost gave in and quit Breathing. So many times I wanted to just give up. I didn't though. I pushed though and finished my first book. I blocked out the hate and I embraced the ones encouraging me to keep going and I finished it. Thanks to you all and the friends I finally opened up to showing so much support.

I will finish Alive. No matter what. I just ask that you forgive me for my moment of weakness and stick with me until the end. I had a lapse in judgement that I promise will NEVER happen again. I hope those who were upset by my previous note accept my apology and maybe understand where my mind was at the time of posting it. I will work on an update to give to you all as soon as possible. It may not be until next week. It will come though.

I also want to say a specific thank you to everyone who accepted and respected my decision. I was literally overwhelmed by how many people explained that they were upset but respected my feelings anyways. You all are true inspirations. Your maturity and kind words are what helped me come to my senses. I wish I could hug every single one of you and tell you how much your messages meant to me. Pat yourself on the back you guys are the ones that reminded me why I do this and saved this story.

Ann Marie 💚